So You Want To Have An Affair?

Have you ever considered having an affair? Have you thought about how you would feel before, during and after the affair? Does the thought of having an affair excite you? Have you convinced yourself that if nobody finds out then nobody gets hurt? Unfortunately the truth of the matter is, many will get hurt. Eventually you will get caught! You, your spouse, your children, family members and your close friends will all suffer the consequences of your affair.It may seem like fun at first until you realize that you are now someone who sneaks around, is dishonest, and you no longer feel the guilt associated with being an unfaithful spouse. Can you imagine what your children might say to you if they found out that you were cheating on mom or dad? Believe me, the people that I have counseled over the years are dealing with the trust issues with their kids. The cold shoulder, the long stares, and the broken hearts are hard for parents to deal with. No lover will ever convince you that the kids will be ok through your affair.
A few years ago I watched a friend's wife have a secret affair. The kids withdrew from their mother and wanted nothing to do with her. It concerned her that her children didn't want to see her or be near her, but she continued with the affair. Since then she has been married several times and no longer has a relationship with her adult children. Was it worth it? Absolutely not! An affair is usually brief and takes everyone down with it. It leaves no victors, only victims. I have helped several people pick up the pieces of a broken relationship and trust me, it's not fun. The prospect of broken hearts are usually a deterrent for most people; however, some will see this after the damage has been done and it's usually to late.
Having an affair may be exciting for a time but most likely it will be short lived and very painful. If you're considering having an affair and you have no one to talk to you can find help by talking to a counselor or divorce coach. You will learn the process of protecting yourself from the pain and guilt of having an affair. I've wondered over the years how many have been hurt by a spouse having an affair? I'm sure many of you have! The pain will always be there unless you learn how to deal with it.
It's scary to be alone with deep pain when you feel you have no one to turn to. I have been there with the sleepless nights and heartache! I would never wish on anyone! Keep one thing in mind, cheaters usually get caught! Affairs cannot be hidden forever. The best advice I can give you, is to walk away from the affair and work on your marriage.
Going through a painful divorce can be ugly, fighting to keep a marriage from failing can be exhausting. It takes work either way, that's where I can help you. I have been doing this kind of work for over 25 years. If you need someone to talk to, you can go to my website at http://www.applicablecoaching.com/ or http://www.idontwantthisdivorce.com/ for additional information.

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