Reasons For Divorce - Why Husbands and Wives End Their Marriages

Why do married couple end up separating? Are you worried that your own marriage might end up in divorce? Are you aware of the main reasons why partners separate after years of married life?The proportion of marriages that end in divorce is on the increase. It is sad that couple go for the divorce option when they find things lacking in their marriage. They seem to have devalued the sanctity of marriage. What really are the main reasons for divorce? Here are some explanations for you to consider.
Having an addiction
One of the main reasons for divorce is an addiction, either to alcohol, substances, or gambling. These addictions make it likely that a marriage will end up in divorce. If you always knew your partner had an addiction but married them nonetheless, then you must be prepared for some significant consequences. Do not hold the belief that your partner will change once you get married, as this is very rarely the case.
Being unfaithful
A partner being unfaithful is one of the main reasons for divorce. This is most common of male partners. Although there are also women who are easily tempted into infidelity. Unfaithfulness is common in marriages. If a partner has an affair, it becomes very difficult to trust them again. Even if the affair ceases, if the trust is gone, then the marriage will likely be over.
Being abused
There are lots of reasons for divorce but abuse of a sexual or emotional nature is very difficult to get past. Counseling and rehabilitation would be needed for a long period of time. A marriage in which abuse has been a factor will very often end in divorce.
No commitment
If people get married while one or both of the partners is not ready for that level of commitment, then the marriage may fail. There a number of explanations why people enter marriage before they are ready for it. This can be because of a pregnancy that was a surprise, or the partners may be in love but have not thought properly about their future life together.
Immaturity
If one of the partners in a marriage is still immature, this may mean the marriage ends in divorce. You cannot control a person's lack of maturity. If someone is immature still, then they will be unable to properly process and understand issues.
These are the main five reasons for divorce. We can only prevent marriage ending in divorce if we learn how to compromise. You don't have to rush into marriage. Hold off for the correct time so everything will go well. If you are already in a marriage, be adult enough to meet your responsibilities as a marriage partner and perhaps also as a parent. You can't be selfish in a marriage.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.
Janice Evans is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

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So You Want To Have An Affair?

Have you ever considered having an affair? Have you thought about how you would feel before, during and after the affair? Does the thought of having an affair excite you? Have you convinced yourself that if nobody finds out then nobody gets hurt? Unfortunately the truth of the matter is, many will get hurt. Eventually you will get caught! You, your spouse, your children, family members and your close friends will all suffer the consequences of your affair.It may seem like fun at first until you realize that you are now someone who sneaks around, is dishonest, and you no longer feel the guilt associated with being an unfaithful spouse. Can you imagine what your children might say to you if they found out that you were cheating on mom or dad? Believe me, the people that I have counseled over the years are dealing with the trust issues with their kids. The cold shoulder, the long stares, and the broken hearts are hard for parents to deal with. No lover will ever convince you that the kids will be ok through your affair.
A few years ago I watched a friend's wife have a secret affair. The kids withdrew from their mother and wanted nothing to do with her. It concerned her that her children didn't want to see her or be near her, but she continued with the affair. Since then she has been married several times and no longer has a relationship with her adult children. Was it worth it? Absolutely not! An affair is usually brief and takes everyone down with it. It leaves no victors, only victims. I have helped several people pick up the pieces of a broken relationship and trust me, it's not fun. The prospect of broken hearts are usually a deterrent for most people; however, some will see this after the damage has been done and it's usually to late.
Having an affair may be exciting for a time but most likely it will be short lived and very painful. If you're considering having an affair and you have no one to talk to you can find help by talking to a counselor or divorce coach. You will learn the process of protecting yourself from the pain and guilt of having an affair. I've wondered over the years how many have been hurt by a spouse having an affair? I'm sure many of you have! The pain will always be there unless you learn how to deal with it.
It's scary to be alone with deep pain when you feel you have no one to turn to. I have been there with the sleepless nights and heartache! I would never wish on anyone! Keep one thing in mind, cheaters usually get caught! Affairs cannot be hidden forever. The best advice I can give you, is to walk away from the affair and work on your marriage.
Going through a painful divorce can be ugly, fighting to keep a marriage from failing can be exhausting. It takes work either way, that's where I can help you. I have been doing this kind of work for over 25 years. If you need someone to talk to, you can go to my website at http://www.applicablecoaching.com/ or http://www.idontwantthisdivorce.com/ for additional information.

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Top 10 Things Not to Do During a Divorce

Don't spend the money you have saved.In an effort to console their hurt, some people buy things that they really don't need. Perhaps you deserve it and everyone might agree but large spending should be avoided for about 6-12 months. You need the money you have to begin your new life. If you have to spend to make things better for yourself or your children, be cautious and make sure that it is truly going to make things better.
Don't increase your debt
The future may be uncertain as to your ability to balance your budget. Again large purchases based on future income should be avoided. Many people get into trouble counting on an increase of income or decrease in expenses that never seems to materialize. Again, the rule is 6-12 months before making any large expenditure or debt.
Don't begin a new relationship
I am sure this made you smile or swear but the complications, bad decisions, and outright confusion of having another intimate relationship while you are trying to figure out where you are during and after the divorce can be disastrous. Stay connected to friends you have and remind them that you are not interested in dating right now. Create good boundaries with the opposite sex and stay in groups of friends.
Don't refuse to go to mediation or negotiation
In the heat of emotions, many things and resources are lost. Make sure that there is someone representing your best interest and understand that most divorces contain a lot of compromise and give and take. Your situation may be different that someone else and may feel you have more leverage but again, let the person representing your best interest help and then be flexible but firm.
Don't ignore your emotions
This is very serious. Allow yourself the freedom to feel and express your emotions. Surround yourself with those who are supportive and helpful. Understand that there is grief in any loss or change. Identify, develop skills to cope, and see your doctor and a therapist to help you process the feelings you are going through. Many of my clients have expressed their appreciation for the support as they journeyed into the unfamiliar territory of divorce.
Don't forget that every divorce is different
Everyone has a different story and there is no shortage of advice giving and comparisons that happen when you get a divorce. The fact is, no two divorces are the same. You have unique circumstances to your situation and those that compare divorces simply put more stress on the situation than is necessary. Listen to advice from a variety of sources and weigh them by talking to someone NOT emotionally invested in your circumstances before you make decisions.
Don't discuss details about the divorce with your children
Despite the age of your children, do not use them as your sounding board or therapist. They are still children and simple and honest explanations are the best. Do not couch your disdain for your ex in "honesty". Many times, people explain they are "just being honest" as a way to disguise their vitriol in the situation. Your children will have a significant adjustment to make and no matter what your explanation is they will have some emotional adjustment to their new life. Do not compound this difficulty with detrimental exposes of your ex. Your attempts to vilify your ex may backfire and at least will prolong the effects of your divorce on your children.
Don't ask your kids what your ex is doing
You really don't have to ask. Kids will often nonchalantly talk about what your ex is doing. It will be at these times that you will have to fight yourself to keep from asking more probing questions. Doing so will create more anxiety in your own life and perhaps emotional difficulties. The best thing you can do is to make sure that your ex and you are on the same page for parenting and communicate your concerns directly to them rather than use your children as messengers. Don't ever put children in the middle of your divorce.
Don't forget to take care of yourself
Many people forget to take care of themselves in times of stress and grief. Much of what is going to happen will take its toll on you emotionally and physically. The times when you can focus on your health, both physically and emotionally, will give you the strength to deal with the stress of divorce. Take the time for YOU. Even though the demands for your time will come from your children and others, you need to focus on taking time for yourself. What you do is up to you but you know what things will bring an "aha" moment or a sigh of relief and relaxation.
Don't get bitter
Someone once told me that the difficult and traumatic things in your life will serve to make you either "Better" or "Bitter". While it is sometimes easy to get bitter about the way we have been treated and remain that way, it does not serve us in the long run as we try to be happy and productive. If we begin to look at how the bad things in life can serve to teach us and learn from our experiences, we will have a tendency to stay away from the bitter. Bitterness that remains infects many aspects of our life and often prevents people from growing, moving forward, and positively influencing our self and others.
One of the best things you CAN do is see a therapist or life coach. Getting guidance, direction and support from someone who is not emotionally involved can be a huge help during this difficult time. Arizona Family Therapy and Life Coaching has a professional staff that cares about your needs and can help you find your way quickly and successfully.
Harry S. Cole Jr., LMFT, is an interactive, solution-focused family therapist. His therapeutic approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. More information on this unique wellness approach can be found at http://www.familytalkaz.com/.

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How to Save Your Marriage From Divorce When Nothing Else Seems to Work

Admit ResponsibilityNo matter what the situation is between you and your spouse or if you believe your spouse needs to chance in order for your marriage to be fine, just know that it take two people to make or break a marriage. In one way or another, you're also at fault for the current state of your marriage. A successful couple does not mean they're always happy, but are in a relationship that manifest a broad range of emotions within their marriage. This means, you and your spouse should experience all your emotions together, even with negative emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, sadness and so on.
There are some people who believe that a good marriage consist of two happy couples. This is an unrealistic perspective because being constantly happy is unrealistic. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage because there is no such thing as a 'perfect' person. You're not perfect and neither is your spouse-- we all have our flaws, this is what makes us human. When two imperfect people come together, it's impossible for a perfect marriage to result out of them. Who decides what is perfect anyways?
Be Accepting of Your Reality
Accept your spouse for who they are and what they say or do. Being in acceptance means you don't resist the reality of what you can't control. If a situation already happened, it is out of your control.
If your spouse did or didn't do what you wanted, do not bear a grudge against them. If you tend to hold onto negative feelings towards your spouse, you're not allowing whatever happens to be okay. When you focus on what you don't want to happen, you add more pain to your situation.
Instead, learn to let go of what you can't control. This doesn't mean you're not allowed to be sad or upset, just don't add any more suffering to your situation by trying to resist what happened. Learn to accept what happened and aspire to positivity because you can only more forward.
Understand What You Can or Can't Control
The only person in your marriage that you have control over is yourself. This means you can't make your spouse feel or desire anything. The more you try to control their feelings by telling them what they need to do (be more loving or affectionate), the more you will push them away and make matters worse in your marriage.
You cannot demand for your spouse's affection, you must attract it. The root of successful couples is when each individual feel successful in their own life. This means, avoid relying on external circumstances to make you feel happy about yourself. Take responsibility of your own feelings and work on improving parts of your own life (without your spouse) that you feel is lacking. This will help you feel amazing, without relying on the love of your spouse. Once you begin to feel good about yourself, you will attract your spouse and begin to have positive interactions with each other once again.
What if you just can't get the love back in your marriage?
I know how hard it can be to try and make your spouse understand just how special your love is, but if you want to really make your marriage sing again, you'll need to learn a single method that works amazingly well.
This method is simple to pick up and it doesn't take much practice, you can read how to do it in my free report here: Fix a Broken Marriage.
Don't give up hope, it's NOT impossible. Learn more reasons Why People Divorce before it's too late for you and your spouse.
Mika Maddela has been helping men and women connect on a deeper and more satisfying level for many years. She specializes in improving personal self-development as well as cultivating a lasting and rewarding relationship. Mika is also an avid traveler and lover of all kinds of food. She enjoys drawing and finding beauty in all things simple.

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Many of the reasons for divorce

There are many reasons why you might want to divorce your husband. Marriage break down all the time. While only marriages know exactly what happened in their specific circumstances, some of the reasons are much more common than others.
One of the most obvious reasons for the divorce is adultery. Finding that cheat their partner can be catastrophic for many people. Or partners can know that their husband or wife is a serial cheater, but one day something happens, that promotes their behavior over the line from the admissible unacceptable. Infidelity is one of the most recognized grounds for divorce.
Other reasons include divorce domestic violence. In some cases, one partner was violence, or offensive to the man or woman, married to. If your partner falls into this category, as well as the Council of a lawyer, you can also find out that they are in the support and advice from one of the many groups that are trying to help people in the same location that you are. If domestic violence was caused by the collapse of the marriage and the Court is convinced that your ex-partner is a danger to you and all the children, then it can greatly impact on the access mode after the divorce.
Other grounds for divorce include the inability to control the dependencies of other one partner. This may include gambling addition, alcoholism, drugs and other similar vices. These dependencies can be a very long running, but the cause of disabled partner debt in the family name and will act irrationally. Many of the spouses will be willing to give their assistance to the partner at first, but if the addict willing to ask for help, or is otherwise unable to control their dependence, in the end, many spouses and other family members, too will reduce ties to maintain their own finances, mental health and emotional well-being.
However, not all of the grounds for divorce concerning criminal or immoral behaviour of one partner. Sometimes two people who had sex in twenty-five years can easily grow as the years go by. Interests can be separated and a few can find themselves spending less and less time and together with their friends, more time at work and other interests. What may begin as a passionate relationship, simply run its course. Couples in these situations, it may decide to go their own way, more or less friendly, with a minimum of judicial proceedings. Factors such as these can be just as valid reasons for divorce as other darker and more dramatic discoveries and experience.
There are many, many other reasons for the divorce, including sexual incompatibility, an insurmountable cultural differences and different views and wishes about the future. Finally, you and your partner may be the sole judge of what are the grounds for divorce-and if you decide to divorce, then a fixed plan, what to do next will help you to cope with the gradient.

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Ten Reasons Why Marriages End in Divorce

The statistics are shocking. Right now in the United States, over 50% of all marriages are ending in divorce. We can't help but wonder what happened to change marriage success rates so drastically over the past few decades. The truth is that people just aren't as willing to put up with situations that aren't making them happy. The secret to maintaining a marriage is to find out the reasons why the relationship isn't the satisfying experience it could be and fix them. Listed below are ten of the major reasons marriages fail:1. When trust and understanding are no longer part of a marriage, it's headed for failure. Things like this occur when partners are too stubborn to try and see things from the perspective of their mates. Compromise is a necessary commodity.
2. Have you ever heard yourself accusing your spouse of having changed from the person you originally married? All of us grow and change throughout life based on our experiences. If you feel your spouse has changed, stop and consider why that has happened.
3. If you start thinking that being married to someone else would make you happier, you're asking for disaster. About 90% of marriages that end do so because one or both spouses have been unfaithful. In truth, most of themselves unable to be happy in any kind of relationship due to the fact that they aren't willing to make the commitment to live with both bad and good.
4. The Bible tells us that when we marry we are united into one body. This applies to our minds as well. If you start thinking about having things "your way" or "my way" instead of "our way", your marriage is headed for troubled waters.
5. If sex is boring or nonexistent, soon the marriage will be, too. People who have sexual relations prior to marriage often find themselves getting bored with their partner before too long. The concept of keeping yourself for marriage wasn't far off base. Otherwise, you'd better be prepared to do whatever it takes to keep your sexual interest alive.
6. Too many lies can destroy a marriage. People need to feel that they spouses are being honest with them. Distrust causes major rifts in many relationships.
7. Playing the fault game is also detrimental to harmony. If you spend more time trying to blame each other for your problems than you do in trying to work things out, there's nowhere to go but down.
8. One partner excluding the other from major parts of their life will end up killing the relationship. The other spouse will feel neglected and as if they aren't really a part of a union any longer. No matter how busy you are, you need to spend quality time with each other.
9. Feelings that their spouse is never there when they need him or her can lead to discord. If the two of you aren't each others' support system, then you need to start working on it.
10. Deciding that you're tired of dealing with all the problems in your marriage can be equated with throwing in the towel for good. Almost all problems can be worked out if you're willing to make the effort. Giving up will get you nowhere but divorced.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: Stop divorce or here: Save My Marriage.

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Own a perfectly disgusting

On one of those lovely sunny evenings in the Northwest, a friend and enjoy dinner before Dashing to the concert together. Although I knew Nancy for a couple of years, I was only familiar with the roles of teacher and PhD student in exotic European travel program. As we munched on crusty bread, vegetables and raw pesto sauce, she talked about her children and two decade long marriage, which was now end in divorce.
Put himself and said: "you have your own completely terrible thing."
Words resonated with Nancy and she smiled when she repeated.
"These events, which we are living through are really horrible," he said, citing difficult divorce, where people can go seemingly normal as soon as the money is on the table, or in any other situation, seeing your home destroyed by fire.
"A colleague at work, as one of his family barely escaped a fire in Los Angeles a few years ago. Although his wife and sons of the wild waves of the fire, everything they owned was trapped in the flames. He shared a wall of fire as impeding the pic on the street, and believe me, it was horrible. "
Extreme provocation
We can provide a myriad of horrific events: a devastating war in the Gulf, Sudan, Vietnam, World War II-and within each of these events are the thousands of separate incidents, which are psychologically disturbing and destructive, physically, emotionally and spiritually. We have all the recent incidents: tsunami, Gulf oil spill, Japan and the Fukushima nuclear accident still is calling for the cessation of radioactivity on our Earth and the sky. Then, add to the list of personal traumas which our lives of illness such as cancer, heart conditions and learning disabilities such as autism.
These are extreme personal provocation, and we experience one or more during our lives our own absolutely terrible thing, which is tailored for us. Each call makes it easy for our spiritual growth, but our heart, and most of all, it enables us to be more compassionate for other live as we do the gift of unity is closer within reach.
Understanding of and to understand
When we think that all have their own terrible confrontation and to open with a softer heart, this is one way we practice Steven Covey fifth habit of highly effective people says:

Search first to understand, then means.

Steven often says that the success principles, teach all day fifth.
Understanding of others, and it is clear, is one of the Cardinal of human needs. The cornerstone of the five human values of peace, love, true, correct action and non-violence. It's intimate need to be recognized, and "I am, I exist, I count" is desire, which combines our core with the universe.
So take your own horrible horrible thing, and I know that this will lead you to a more compassionate and loving you.
References
Covey, Steven. Seven habits of highly effective people. Provo, Utah: Covey Leadership Center, Inc., 1994. Printing.
Diane Carol Mark brings personal contact for her writing from the age of 14, Asian travel. In addition to writing as a career of more than ten years, Diane is a professional artist, who lives in the Northwest. Dailey Swan Publishing has scheduled its novel Gold: The Zen of Dr. Shu for publication in July 2012. With the author and teacher, Tom Bird study in intensive individual authors of the program. Its editor is famous for its editor Paul McCarthy, New York from nine # 1 New York Times and international bestseller authors.
You can find it blogs on http://oracleofthewest.com/

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What's Your Reason For Wanting a Divorce?

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

So you think your marriage is on the rocks, and the only future you can see ahead of you is divorce. Have you examined the reasons why you believe a divorce is the answer? After all, this is the person you adored so much when you were first married, and he or she is really the same person down inside. True, they've grown and changed, as you yourself have, but they're still the person you were in love with not so very long ago. Maybe if you stopped and looked at the main reasons people give for wanting a divorce, you'll find both the root of your own problems and a possible solution that involves staying together. Read on to find out.

Reason #1 - You might feel like you married for the wrong reasons or else you never intended for your marriage to last a lifetime. Although people spent hundreds of years valuing the institution of marriage, this often isn't the case any longer. All you have to do is watch TV for a while to find a celebrity in a non-traditional relationship in which one or more babies were born to the relationship without the benefit of prior nuptials. Marriage is no longer revered by the younger generation, and obviously, if you don't value it, it isn't worth keeping when the going gets tough.

Reason #2 - You may have married too quickly, before the two of you really got a chance to know each other well. You could have succumbed to lust instead of waiting for real love. Since that time you've undoubtedly found out things about your spouse that have made you question why you married them in the first place. The answer is to make an effort to get to know the person you married much better and look for the points about him or her that you can learn to love and admire.

Reason #3 - You've found yourself in less than comfortable circumstances financially. It's possible that when you married neither of you had any clear idea of how you were going to make enough money to pay the bills. You were in love and eager to think that this bond would sustain your union. Now you've learned that it's not going to happen unless something changes, and it's up to you to try. Some options are to take classes to learn a new trade, look for a better job, or see a financial counselor to get help with managing the money you do have.

Reason #4 - You might have developed a distrust in your spouse, either for a legitimate reason or because you perceive that he or she isn't attracted to you any longer. Communication is one of the keys here. Keep closely in touch and remember that if you think loving thoughts about your spouse, say them. Make an effort to always be honest. If you made a mistake, own up to it instead of trying to cover it up. Together you can work it out.

Although these are just examples of reasons why marriages fail, you'll see that whatever your problems are, there's always choices other than divorce. Take the time to look for them, and you'll discover that you can make your marriage work after all.

Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: Stop divorce or here: Save My Marriage.

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How to Survive the Holidays With Sass

As you approach your first holiday season solo, does it seem like every jeweler in America is out to get you? You know what I mean. All those commercials where a beautiful but breathless woman warmly embraces her handsome man after finding a 45-carat diamond necklace in the glove box of her brand new giant-bow-adorned car. Ugh! Sometimes, the thought of spending time alone during the holidays made me feel like the world's biggest Scrooge. But... I had a choice to make: Either I could be a victim of the season or I could kick holiday butt. Instead of being defeated by my new status as a single gal, here's how the latter option worked out for me:I had a schedule. This is very important. If you don't have a schedule, you can get caught up in woe-is-me time. My family celebrates on Christmas Eve. My first Christmas alone, I had the ENTIRE day on Christmas all to myself. Something that I really wasn't looking forward to. After all, I couldn't stroll the aisles of the book store for a couple hours just to get my mind off things. I couldn't order in my favorite Chinese food or even do a Taco Bell run. Unless I wanted to hang at my neighborhood Walgreen's (which IS open 365 days a year and would be sign of true desperation), I would have to be home... by myself... for hours... and hours... and hours. I made up my mind that I would try to make it as fun as I could and do everything that I loved.
Several days before Christmas, I chose a recipe that I'd been meaning to try and shopped for all the groceries needed to make it. I also bought myself a couple cool gifts that I really wanted and wrapped them. Yes, you read it right. I WRAPPED MY OWN PRESENTS. I am not ashamed to say that even if you think I'm a little crazy because I had the best time opening them up on Christmas morning. No joke. Afterwards, I made myself some Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. Easy enough. I lounged about, took a nice long bath and gave myself a manicure. I also watched "A Christmas Story" and "Grumpier Old Men" a couple times a piece. Around 6 p.m., I opened a bottle of wine and sipped it as I made myself a fabulous pasta dinner. It was a bit strange to sit down to a table alone (as my young daughter was with her father) but I did it. Then I relaxed some more and read the book that I gave myself. As I snuggled into bed that night and reflected on the day that I had been dreading, I thought to myself, "Wow. It wasn't that bad."
I'm convinced that having a plan and scheduling my day and being prepared really saved me. That's what I want for you. Your holiday to-do list looks like this, my Dear:
1. Chose your activities for the day. Whether you've got a few hours alone or a few days, what would make you feel great? Or at least good? Do that. Figure out your morning, afternoon and evening and stick to it.
2. Prepare yourself. In other words, if you need groceries to make something delicious, go get 'em! If you need some sensational gifts under your tree, get shopping! Also, be generous with yourself and get things you normally would never consider ~ splurge a little!
3. Relax and enjoy! Even if you have some moments of sadness creep up, allow them to be there. Give yourself a break because it's totally natural. However, don't let them be the boss of you. Say to yourself, "Okay. I'll have this feeling for 5 minutes and then your time is up!" Then have your time and let it go and get back to the business of cherishing you.
My hope for you is that this holiday season is an opportunity to be gentle with yourself and boost your confidence by spending time alone and doing it with style! Do it for you.
Happy Holidays, Gorgeous! Now go kick some holiday butt!
If you like this, you'll love Laura's FREE 5 Steps to Getting Your Groovy Back audio minicourse. In it, you'll learn how to boost your mood throughout the day, how to deal with difficult emotions and remain sassy, why resentment depletes your strength and lots more. Visit http://www.thebreakuplounge.com/ to get it now!
Laura Smith is the founder of The Breakup Lounge, a business devoted to enriching the lives of women dealing with the end of a relationship. Using her own life experiences, she has developed coaching packages offering tools to help women bring their emotions back into control while still allowing them, ideas for establishing self-care rituals, freedom from potential bitterness and resentment and positive expectations for the future. She understands all the different facets of a breakup including the fear, hopelessness, low self-esteem, whirlwind of emotions, stress and blame that can occur. She loves helping women end the heartbreak and get back to their sassy selves!

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Most Common Causes Why People Have Divorce

When couples feel that there is nothing left in the marriage, most couples would resort to divorce. Though not all causes of divorce are that grave, a growing number of couples these days think that the best option when things are not working smoothly is to separate. This may work for most people but if there are kids involved, the process may be more difficult to handle.The most common reasons or causes of divorce are the following:
Lack of communication
Communication is one of the key foundations of marriage. Couples should always have an open line of communication with one another. If these lines close down, the marriage is bound to fail. It makes sense that you won't have an effective relationship if one or both of you don't talk about your personal or mutual issues. The more you keep the problems to yourself, the more the problem will worsen. Don't expect your partner to read your thoughts and feelings. It is best to discuss matters and feelings openly with one another.
Infidelity
This is another common reason why couples file divorce. When one or both of you strays from what is keeping you together, the marriage is doomed to fail. There are couples who found it very hard to recover because one can't accept or deal with the fact that his or her partner became unfaithful to him or her. In the cultural aspect, society is still finding it hard to accept when a woman becomes unfaithful. There are still those who believe that it is only normal for men to stray. Either way, infidelity is still one of the top reasons couples choose to divorce.
Lack of commitment
Commitment is the first and foremost reasons why couples choose to get married. It follows that if one or both parties show a lack of commitment, it would mean the end of the marriage. Commitment involves a lot of things whether it's financially, emotionally and sexually. If there is lack of commitment, everything else surrounding it would start to crumble.
Abandonment
This is one of the obvious causes of divorce. Of course, if your partner abandons you, there is nothing more you can do. No matter how much you want the relationship to work, if he or she chooses "out", there is usually nothing left but to end the marriage.
Alcohol / substance abuse
It is true that when a person becomes hooked on alcohol and drugs, they become abusive; they begin to stray away from the relationship; and it becomes impossible to get the line of communication going. There are even occasions when the alcoholic or drug dependent partner becomes aggressive to the point of physical or emotional abusing his or her partner. If after exhumed efforts like rehabilitation seemed useless, there's no other option that to divorce or separate.
Physical and/or emotional abuse
If your partner has been physically and/or emotionally abusing you, there's really no reason why you should stay. Studies show that people who are this aggressive rarely change. If your safety and health is already the issue then it is really already a good option to let go and divorce, especially if you have kids.
Sexual abuse
This is another reason why married people file a divorce. Though the usual victims are women, there are also reported cases of men experiencing this type of abuse. Even if you're married, it doesn't follow that whenever he or she wants to have sex and doesn't want to, you should force yourself on her or him. This is also the case if you want to try wild or sadistic sexual positions and your partner doesn't want to.
Irreconcilable differences
When couples think that there is nothing worth saving and their problem has already reached its end point, the usual last resort is to file for divorce. This is one reason why couples should always have an open line of communication with one another.
Interference from in-laws or parents
There are couples who feel pressured by their parents or in-laws. There are in-laws who seem to want to always have a say in the life of the couple. When the gap between the parents and the couple in question grows, it leads to constant arguments and fights which usually end up in a divorce.
There are other causes of divorce. Some may start with small reasons and eventually grows into problems that are already very difficult to fix. Other reasons for divorce are: sexual incompatibility; intellectual incompatibility; falling out of love as well as criminal behavior and/or incarceration of crime; mental illness / mental instability or cultural and lifestyle differences.
Most couples who get separated uses the reason no fault divorce. Going through a difficult marriage will only result in undue suffering. Not only are the parents affected but also the children as well. Follow this link and learn true reasons for divorce so you won't make the same mistake as other couples did.

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How Is Property Divided at Divorce?

How is property divided at divorce?It is common for a divorcing couple to decide about dividing their property and debts themselves, rather than leave it to the judge. But if a couple cannot agree, they can submit their property dispute to the court, which will use state law to divide the property. Division of property does not necessarily mean a physical division. Rather, the court awards each spouse a percentage of the total value of the property. Each spouse gets items whose worth adds up to his or her percentage. Courts divide property under one of two schemes: equitable distribution or community property.
•Equitable distribution. Assets and earnings accumulated during marriage are divided equitably (fairly). In practice, often two-thirds of the assets go to the higher wage earner and one-third to the other spouse. Equitable distribution principles are followed everywhere except the community property states listed just below.
•Community property. In Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin, all property of a married person is classified as either community property, owned equally by both spouses, or the separate property of one spouse. At divorce, community property is generally divided equally between the spouses, while each spouse keeps his or her separate property (that property which is accumulated prior to the divorce or acquired by gift or inheritance. In Alaska, couples can agree in writing to have their property treated as if they lived in a community property state.
Can a spouse successfully prevent a court from granting a divorce?
One spouse cannot stop a no-fault divorce. Objecting to the other spouse's request for divorce is itself an irreconcilable difference that would justify the divorce. A spouse can prevent a fault divorce, however, by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. In addition, several other defenses to a divorce may be possible:
• Collusion. If the only no-fault divorce available in a state requires that the couple separate for a long time and the couple doesn't want to wait, they might pretend that one of them was at fault in order to manufacture a ground for divorce. This is collusion because they are cooperating in order to mislead the judge. If, before the divorce, one spouse no longer wants a divorce, he could raise the collusion as a defense.
•Condonation. Condonation is someone's approval of another's activities. For example, a wife who does not object to her husband's adultery may be said to condone it. If the wife sues her husband for divorce, claiming he has committed adultery, the husband may argue asa defense that she condoned his behavior.
•Connivance. Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits a wrongdoing. For example, a wife who invites her husband's lover to the house and then leaves for the weekend may be said to have connived his adultery. If the wife sues her husband for divorce, claiming he has committed adultery, the husband may argue as a defense that she connived-that is, set up-his actions.
•Provocation. Provocation is the inciting of another to do a certain act. If a spouse suing for divorce claims that the other spouse abandoned her, her spouse might defend the suit on the ground that she provoked the abandonment. Keep in mind that although these defenses exist, most courts will eventually grant the divorce. This is because of the strong public policy against forcing people to stay married against their will.
Divorces have increased during the past five years. Here is all the information you need if you want to get a divorce. http://howtogetadivorcex.com/

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Will You Consider A Divorce Insurance?

Couples who get married don't always end up together. Marriages are not made in heaven as they say. Problems and conflicts occur every now and then. Unfortunately for some who don't have the patience and tolerance to save their relationship can just give up easily.This is one of the reasons that some couples, particularly those who have accumulated wealth before tying the knot, prefer to have a pre-nuptial agreement is preferred to protect their properties in the event of divorce. These days, however, the divorce insurance is another option. It's still quite new but well worth a try.
Being an insurance, it aims to help people in their expenses should they decide to divorce their partner. The financial assistance will be in cash to help the spouse pay for the divorce proceedings and find a new home to live in. Not many people are aware that going through divorce can be very expensive. Your lawyer fees alone can already cost you tens of thousands of dollars and if you don't have a steady income and other sources of funds, how are you going to pay them?
This divorce insurance is considered very helpful particularly for the spouse who does not earn as much as his or her other half. In short, it will assist the person by providing financial security while going through hard times after the divorce.
This latest divorce insurance is affordable as well. For example, you can get it for as low as $16 per month at wedlock.com. Each unit can already provide coverage worth $1,200 which is not bad.
If you have your own income, you can decide to purchase this type of insurance if you want. Not that you're foreseeing divorce to happen but then again, the unexpected can always occur even in the most stable marriages that were thought to last.
The issue, however, will be about how you are going to open this up with your spouse. Normally, it's the low earning or non-earning wives who often experience great difficulty financially after the divorce and as such, should be the ones more likely to consider getting a divorce insurance.
If you're planning to tell your partner about getting this protection, experts suggest scheduling a time to discuss this with an open mind. This can take about an hour or two. To open the issue, you can start pointing out the divorce rate and your plans if ever this will happen to both of you.
In these times when marriages are unpredictable like the weather, it's best to be prepared for the worst scenario. Lucky for you if your spouse is very generous and will agree to support you financially after you've split up. But what if not and you don't have a source of income? Where are you going to turn to for financial assistance?
The divorce insurance may still have some areas to improve on so you can wait for a year or two before getting one. But again, it's always an option today as it can be a great help to you eventually should you go through divorce.
For marriage forums, visit TalkAboutMarriage.com, a supportive community for marriage and relationship advice.

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How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that "lovin' feeling" that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It's a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.
If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is, if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!
Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can't fight an enemy you can't see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:
1. A lack of desire to be together - This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to "hang-out" and find that you would rather do "whatever" either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!
2. A feeling of resentment - If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don't even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.
3. A lack or void of intimacy - If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn't seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.
4. An inability to communicate - Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don't talk or "discuss" things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.
How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:
OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, "How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again":
* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take time to talk. This won't happen on its own, you mustmake the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.
* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. Tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be "game-over". After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partners response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.
* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy "life" gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.
* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.
The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence...
All the best!
If you're struggling through a divorce and your heart is just not in it, don't let your marriage become just another statistic. I want to offer you my free report "How To Save Your Relationship Even if Your Partner is Stubborn". Get immediate access to it here: http://www.marriageisworthsaving.com/report/ And if you would like more advice and encouragement for stopping your divorce and saving your marriage please stop by my site: http://www.marriageisworthsaving.com/

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