Men Are More Likely to Struggle After a Divorce - Why? Can't We Look After Ourselves?

A recent survey has revealed that whilst many women are able to reinvent themselves and thrive following a divorce, men are far more likely to experience loneliness and flounder following their marriages having come to an end, but why?The articles written as a result of the aforementioned study pointed to additional financial burden that divorce men tend to experience as one possible explanation as to why this is, but it is the other potential reasons that some have put forward that are most intriguing.
Other experts have claimed, for example, that women are better equipped to cope with the emotional pain of divorce as they tend to have a larger network of friends and are better at discussing their situations. Others have argued that men encounter domestic difficulties following a divorce and struggle with tasks such as cooking and cleaning. Both, to an extent, have valid points.
The report - featured in British newspaper the Daily Mail - refers solely to middle-aged men. These individuals, whilst not relics by any stretch of the imagination, are certainly products of another era, a time when men did not discuss their feelings and seldom pick up a saucepan or turn on a washing machine; men who would understandably find it difficult to maintain the lifestyle to which they were accustomed whilst married. But is the same true of younger.
Unfortunately, the Daily Mail and all other news sources that have reported on this survey have failed to mention from where it originated and whilst I have therefore been unable to obtain a copy of it and pass comment, I am certain that there would be disparities if the younger and older generations ability to cope following divorce were compared to one another. Traditional gender roles have, thank goodness, become blurred in recent times and men are now far more capable of looking after themselves. The same, unfortunately, cannot be said of the older generations.
Additionally, whilst the majority of the articles refer to the fact that women were the petitioners in 68% of all divorces filed in the UK in 2009, it fails to note that this could have contributed to the survey's overall findings. This is surprising as the rejected party in any divorce is likely to suffer a more significant emotional detriment than the individual that files for divorce and take longer to recover from divorce as a result.
All in all then - although I cannot say this for certain without having seen the report associated with this study - these findings seem flawed.
Quickie Divorce are the UK's leading provider of divorce.
Visit http://www.quickie-divorce.com/blog/ for news, updates and insights into the world of divorce.

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What to Do When Relationships Fail: 4 Tips for Survival

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. ~Author UnknownA friend's daughter just found out her husband is having an affair and wants a divorce. She and the kids (teen and younger) are devastated, shocked and angry. Sound familiar? My heart hurts for the people involved.
How would you cope with that situation? Or any situation when relationship falls apart? It could be death, loss of a job or position, a struggling marriage, or family estrangement. Even an unexpected illness can create severe stress in relationships. Suddenly, the world you knew has disappeared. It has been replaced with a mélange of emotional, mental, physical and financial roadblocks and dead ends.
It can seem impossible to cope, to get past the pain of betrayal and loss. Here are four tips to help you cope when relationships are strained or severed.
Release negative emotions.
You are complete in Him. (Col. 2:10) Complete means you need nothing that the Father has not already supplied.
Our tendency is to hang onto our self-pity and fear. We feel entitled to cry, rant and bemoan our situation. But looking at what you have lost will not help you move forward.
When my own marriage was struggling, I had to learn in my loneliness not to expect someone else to meet my emotional or physical needs. Instead, I practiced releasing my feelings to God, letting Him fill the perceived voids in my life. I had to take my expectations and pressure off of my husband, my daughter, my parents, my friends - and myself.
I learned to say, "You and me, God - You're all I need." It required practice (still does!), but you can learn - like I did - to set yourself free. Guilt, manipulation and threats will not hold a relationship together. Don't immerse yourself in negative feelings. Instead, soak in the overflowing fountain of God's love and provision. You can wallow or you can win. But you can't do both. It's your choice.
Ditch the guilt.
Have faith in God. (Mark 11:22) He is Redeemer and Vindicator. He will supply all your need (Phil. 4:19). He will give you peace that passes understanding (Phil. 4:7).Your only requirement is to trust Him. Hang onto His promises - by your fingernails if necessary!
Don't assume that a relationship failure is your fault. Did you contribute? Then face that fact and move forward. But don't beat yourself up or put yourself down. "What if's" and "I should have's" will not alter your present situation. Guilt, anger and unforgiveness hurt only you, not the other person. Replace those negative emotions with gratitude for the small joys and blessings in your life. The more you can find to be grateful for, the sooner you will overcome
As God's child, you are special, beloved. He still has a good plan for your life if you will stay in faith and walk in love. No matter how difficult your current circumstance, it is temporary. Continue to believe in yourself and in God. Remember, He told you, "If I am for you, who can be against you?" (Rom. 8:31).  He can protect you from every evil work (2 Tim. 4:18).
Don't accept false responsibility.
Let not your heart be troubled (John 14:27).
Now, I'm not saying you can't ever expect anything. Obviously balance is the key. The world works because we function together - meeting each other's needs. The problem arises when your expectations and feelings become burdensome or trigger anger and frustration. That is a sign that you are placing your faith in the wrong thing.
Disappointment is rooted in selfishness. It discounts God's love and care. He told us to cast all your care on Him, for He cares for you (I Peter 5:7).
Face forward.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end (Jer. 29:11).
The Bible declares that faith is substance, a powerful force that can change our circumstances and bring our hopes and dreams to pass (Heb. 11:1). Believe that you are strong enough to not only survive the strain of a failed relationship, but that you will triumph. Trust God to pick up the pieces of your life and turn them into something good.
The Apostle Paul knew a bit about a difficult life. His solution was simple. "... forgetting those things which are behind, [I reach] forth unto those things which are before" (Phil. 3:13). The past is unchangeable. Your future is yours to design.
No matter what you are facing, you can learn to be strong. You can put your trust in God and be an over-comer. Day by day, you can practice faith and patience, love and hope. Then, like Job, you will know that "though [my] beginning was small, yet [my] latter end shall greatly increase" (Job 8:7).
For more information on developing life skills, better relationships, and becoming the best YOU possible, visit http://www.seebecksolutions.com/ and sign up to receive your FREE subscription to "What Matters Most", a weekly ezine of inspiration, motivation and humor from a Christian perspective.
Ruth Seebeck has built a reputation over the last three decades as a life-skills coach, mentor, Christian counselor and friend. She is a business owner, author, community volunteer and event coordinator whose passion is helping others overcome life's challenges.

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The Best Way to Support a Friend Through Their Divorce

Divorce is nowadays such a frequent occurrence that many of us are going to find ourselves needing to be supportive of a friend who is struggling to come to terms with their breakup. We may be in the unfortunate situation of needing some support ourselves.Everyone is different and each of us experience loss and hurt in our own way. For some people they may be devastated that the love of their life has left them. Others may be relieved that their loveless ordeal is finally over. For some the breakup may mean public humiliation or financial hardship. There are many personal considerations that are unique to each situation.
Friendships can be severely tested when one person is dealing with the trauma of a breakup. They may become preoccupied, bitter, distraught as well as having many practical matters that take time and drain their emotional energy. Emotions often run high, tension can seem to be constant factor and it can feel like a never-ending crisis. It can be especially hard if you have been friends with both parties or appreciate the other person's point of view.
Let's look at some ways you can help a friend through their divorce.
- Listen. Sometimes it is important to let your friend have their say. They may need to vent and get things off their chest. People often feel better for simply having verbalized their distress. You may need to nothing except listen.
- Call time on the talking. If a friend becomes obsessed or preoccupied with their ex and constantly repeats old grievances over and over again, there can come a time when it is important to introduce other topics into the conversation. This does not disrespect their hurt. It simply allows them and you to have a break from the relentless hurt and pain and start to become more receptive to outside life.
- Encourage them to try counselling and hypnotherapy. If you feel that your friend has issues or bad habits that have been a factor in the divorce it can help to suggest that they address those problem areas. Counselling and hypnotherapy can help them start to resolve those areas, improve their understanding of the situation and have better prospects in any future relationships they may envisage.
- Try not to take sides. Being supportive and empathising with you friend is important but joining in and fuelling the situation is of no benefit to anyone. It may simply succeed in prolonging the anger.
- Consider the children. If your friend has custody of the children they may need help with entertaining them if they are unused to being with them alone. Fathers often find that having the children for set visitation periods is quite stressful at first. They want to make the times together as fun as possible but are inexperienced at entertaining the children alone and struggle with such an artificial situation. Mothers may need additional babysitting support at times, especially if they need to start working or want to go out for an occasional evening.
- Encourage good habits. When a person is distressed they may forget to take proper care of themselves. Encourage them to shop, eat, wash, sleep. It may help to invite them to stay with you for a little while if you are in a position to do so. Try to discourage excessive alcohol consumption. Alcohol is a depressant and can become a bad habit when a person is feeling low.
- Give support to outside interests. Healthy outside interests like sport, volunteer work, interests that include other people can be an important distraction. Often divorce gives people more free time which can mean more time to think and feel miserable.
Supporting a friend through their divorce can be an intensive time and quite draining. The phrase 'start as you mean to go on' can be useful to remember. In the initial days a person may need a lot of support, but as time goes on encourage them to become more independent, involve other friends and interests. That way you support a more positive basis for your friendship that respects both your lifestyles.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
Further help, advice and articles are available.
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

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How to Get a Quick Divorce

The websites and blogs of lawyers continuously inform us that the phrase 'quickie divorce' is misleading, but - as Roland Barthes once argued in his influential essay The Death of the Author - the accuracy of any statement is entirely subjective and dependent upon how the reader perceives it.It is true that no divorce in the UK can be finalised in less than three months, irrespective of the relevant couple's circumstances. Place the expression in context, however, and the word quick is entirely appropriate.
If there are contentious matters that need to be addressed - such as the division of assets or childcare arrangements - then a divorce could be delayed for months if not years. Worse yet, if a divorce is contested, then an individual can be left with no choice but to remain married to their estranged spouse for several years. When these factors are taken into consideration, the word quick, it would seem, is being used as a rather appropriate pseudo prefix. But just how is such a divorce obtained?
Fortunately, it really isn't that difficult to obtain a quick divorce, provided, that is, that both spouses agree to the divorce and have settled the contentious issues outlined above. All you'll need to do is instruct a solicitor, contact an online divorce company or, if you're confident enough, proceed unassisted and try for a DIY divorce.
Depending upon which of the options you went for, you'll then either complete the relevant forms yourself or have them completed for you. These forms will then need to be filed with a county court either by or on behalf of the spouse that is making the application (known as the petitioner).
These forms will then be processed by the court and copies of them sent to the petitioner's spouse (known as the respondent). The respondent is then required to review these documents before signing additional paperwork and returning all of these forms to the relevant court. Their signature, ultimately, serves as proof of the fact that they do not oppose the divorce. Once they have returned these signed documents to the court, then the petitioner is contacted and provided with a copy of the documentation that will serve as proof of the fact that the respondent agrees to the divorce. During this stage of the divorce, it would be advisable for the petitioner to contact their spouse - provided that they are still on speaking terms - and inform them that the sooner they sign and return these documents to the court, the sooner the divorce will be finalised.
Once these documents have been received, the petitioner can then apply for a decree nisi (a document which confirms that a judge has, in principle agreed to the application). Again, the relevant forms will need to be completed by either the petitioner or the individuals that they have instructed and filed with the relevant county court along with a copy of the document as proof of the fact that the respondent agrees to the divorce. Before these documents are filed, though, they will need to be sworn by either a solicitor - who will charge a small fee for this service - or a member of the court's staff.
Shortly after these documents are filed with the court, the petitioner should be sent a copy of their decree nisi. Following receipt of this, the petitioner will be able to apply for a decree absolute - the document that confirms that they are officially divorced - six weeks and one day from the date on which their decree nisi was issued. During this period, it is advisable that couple file what is known as a consent order with the court. A consent order is, put simply, a document that indicates that both the petitioner and respondent have agreed on how to divide their finances. This document will outline precisely how the relevant assets have been, or are going to be, divided and make these agreements legally binding. You can prepare this document yourself if you like, but, this can be tricky and, in my opinion, it is better to seek assistance as a result.
Anyway, regardless of whether or not you choose to apply for a consent order, one additional document will need to be completed and filed with the court on or after the assigned date and then, hey presto, both the petitioner and respondent will soon be sent a decree absolute as proof of the fact that they are no longer married.
So, as you can see, this is a relatively straightforward process and, what's more, it usually only takes between 12 and 20 weeks.
The Divorce Blogger writes for http://www.quickie-divorce.com/ the UK's leading divorce provider.

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How I Saved Myself After My Marriage Collapsed

When I look back on my marriage, I remember the good times and the sweet sentiments and the intimate moments. I also remember, the bickering, the arguing, and the fighting. I lastly remember the day I realized that my husband would not be coming home for dinner.I had a good cry that night and the next night and the next week. The ache and the physical pain are something, I won't soon forget. I did recover and you will too. If you are reading this article, you are probably in a similar situation as I was. Reeling from the loss of your hopes and dreams, you are seeking advice and consolation from the internet.
I would type in such things like; "husband left, now what"? The search generated numerous blogs and articles that primarily had to do with trying to get him back or how to save my marriage. I wasn't really sure if I actually wanted to save my marriage or if I even wanted him back.
I was looking for ways to get rid of the pain and steps to move on. Not only that, there was an assumption that by doing a few tricks and behavior modifications on my self, that I could bring him back. Let's get real - he walked out on me, isn't he the one that needs some work? Not only that, everyone knows that it takes two willing individuals to make a marriage work and if one decides to depart, that equation is now unbalanced.
It takes some time, but you will heal and you will go on to love another day, but how do you do it? How do you build up your self-esteem and bring back life to your personality? How do fight through the blues to get to the sunny days again? It's not easy, but it is so much better than playing games to bring home a man who has made it clear its over.
Saving Yourself, Not Your Marriage
It is time to be selfish. For once put your needs first. Resist the urge to try to fix this. It is quite possible that trying to fix something is what got you in this situation in the first place.
Step 1 - Take a Trip
No, not a vacation. Its time to take a serious trip down memory lane. Don't censor this trip, you need to remember more than just the good times, specifically the last few weeks before he left. You want look at his odd behaviors, comments and demeanor. What we tend to forget after they have been gone is that the last few weeks or months have been horrible. Your intuition most likely told you that something was amiss. Don't lie to yourself. You know the health of your marriage and deep down even in the aftermath you can still find a memory of what was really going on. Once you have a picture of the true health of your marriage, you can now move on to the next important steps.
I have been there. My husband left me numerous times, Sometimes he came back, sometimes I got him back and sometimes he got me back. The last time was the most important time. The time where I decided, NOT him that he should stay gone!
For more tips and steps to saving yourself, please check out my blog Stay-gone.com. There you can ask questions and read daily insights on how to save yourself and not your marriage. You are a valuable person who deserves to receive the amount of love you are willing to give.
Lilac Kirk is writer who wants to help other woman pull themselves out of the drama of unhealthy marriages and relationships.

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Warning Signs of Commitment Issues and New Relationships

Commitment is a core part of our character. We either have character or we think we are characters. When you have character you're driven to fulfill your agreements and promises. Unfortunately, there are people who use promise's of commitment to manipulate as a way to get what they want. These folks like running the race, and enjoy the rush of intense feelings at the beginning, but can't cross the finish line as an involved and committed partner.When we get so wrapped up in the hopefulness and our fuzzy emotions we can miss signs that the other person is not able or willing to commit.
Here are some indicators that commitment was or is a problem and may be again. You can use these notations to assess previous involvements and your present situation and evaluate future relationships:
1. Things happened too fast. There was a rush to go farther and faster based on how wonderful it feels to be with someone who seems to be connected to you. If someone seemed to fall for you a little too fast, that could be a warning sign. Their need or yours for some kind of involvement could have more to do with closing the deal and moving on to sex.
2. Often the need to be with someone is so strong that they will settle for what comes fastest and don't make a real effort to know you or for you to know them. There is more emphasis on the context of how things look and feel than on the substance.
3. They have a life and activities that you're not a part of. They are frequently reluctant to share activities with you and become involved in what's going on in your life.
4. As the relationship starts to grow if the other person isn't willing or able to make more time for you, this could be a warning sign. You know there's a problem when the other person simply doesn't seem to have enough time or space in their life for you.
5. They remain too involved in their own life and activities, putting a greater priority on that than the relationship.
6. The relationship that unfolded had more to do with the rush of emotions than the development of a strong and committed bond.
7. One of the biggest problems in commitment comes from people who rebounded from other relationships and did not complete their healing process.
8. Another thing that many people overlook, is the other person's history of relationships. I fell head over heels with a woman, only to find out that she had already been married three times, that her father had been married five times and her therapist had also been married five times. I didn't listen to was common sense, and rushed into getting married, because I thought the emotions that I was feeling would be stronger than her history. Wrong!
9. Was the other person story congruent with their actions, words, activities, and promises?
When we start exploring and entering into relationships with someone else, we invest a lot of ourselves. If the investment is in someone who is not willing or able to reciprocate, it's better to cut the losses early, move on and find someone else who will.
Most of my working life has been involved in helping people in crisis and life transitions. I started as a street cop where I learned to deal calmly with difficult and explosive situations. After graduating from college I left the PD and went to the largest independent insurance adjusting company in the world. Along the way I spent 6 years as a shift supervisor with a large crisis center handling suicides, spousal abuse, drug and alcohol issues, rape, incest and people with codependency issues. In 1999 I completed a 2 year program to be a life coach and specialize in crisis issues like divorce.
I offer FREE Resources at http://www.realisticcoaching.com/ in the Products Area at the end of the section.

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The Top 5 Effects of Divorce to Expect

When you get divorced there are many different effects of divorce that you may not have thought about. These can be things that affect you, your ex-spouse, and your children. Divorce is not an easy thing to go through and you really have to know what you are getting into before you start the process. Here are the top 5 effects of divorce.1. Money
Your money flow could be affected in a negative or a positive way due to a divorce. This all depends on what you are making right now and how the family is being supported by you and your spouse. The money can be affected in a way that will cause a change in the way you live, your housing, the work you do, and many other things.
2. Children
Another huge part of the divorce and the effects of divorce is what will happen with the children. This does not have to be a negative thing because children are going to notice if you are happier because of the divorce. However, if both parents are good parents you want to make sure they get to see their children and often.
Make sure you work out who will be taking the children full time and who will be taking them part time. When you do this you need to consider who is better equipped to take care of them and which parent is going to have the time to be there when the children need them. The best situation would be if you could both alternate weeks or even a few days of the week, but this is not always possible.
3. Fear
Even though you may not think so one of the effects of divorce is fear. You may be afraid of living alone and even afraid of getting back out into the dating pool. This can be scary and you need to take your time and understand that keeping yourself busy with positive things can help you deal with this type of fear.
4. Lifestyle
After a divorce you are single, which is probably very new to you. This means that you can go out and date, you don't have anybody to answer to, and you have freedom that you may have lacked during the marriage. You need to embrace this so that you can move on with your life and find the right person to make you happy.
5. Your Relationship
The thing that will be affected the most by divorce is the relationship you have with the person you once decided to marry. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you handle it. Not everybody deals with divorce the same, but if it is mutual or something you know you cannot change the best thing you can do is remain friends.
Divorce is not easy to go through and it can be something that can destroy a person for a little while. Get some counseling if you need to and fill your new found time with activities that you enjoy and are positive. Don't let the effects of divorce get you down and understand you do have control over how bad they are.
Click Here to Discover More About the Effects of Divorce.

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How to recover from the collapse of the relationship

Of all the painful experience, there is little that I can imagine that are greater than the pain that develops from the beloved. In my life I have had 2 major relationship break-ups "luck". I'm lucky, because these experiences I provides the largest and most experiential learning that someone interested in (through the pain, which may have had to endure.) I came to learn that every relationship, lifelong or temporary is the God of the assignment. He sent me for my learning.
Grieving-losing the relationship is a loss. Although no grief process is typical, it is important to recognize and process 5 phases. You can lead to long-lasting sense of confusion and inhibit your ability to move forward. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Letting go to forgive-forgiveness is the miracles of things. This is often seen as difficult because people tend to misunderstand the forgiveness. It's not about another person, it's about the release of mental disorders, which may cause pain in the you. Sit down with pen and paper journal my feelings, good and bad. With the Declaration of forgiveness. Declaration of pardons does not condone any conduct that was disrespectful or inappropriate. However, to regain power in stop you guarantee situation in mind, we suffer. We were hurt and betrayed in the past, but we want to stop, he carried the cross.
Atone for part of the-owning a gun and you will protect you against the protruding or transferring the blame. The resurrection is guaranteed to follow.
Pray for healing-it's time for the orientation. Whatever your faith, ask for a miracle. In response to your question, pray for healing in your mind. Ask God for the treatment of your mind that believes I'm separated from love. Pain of the break is in part because of mis-identification with the relationship as who you are, but it is an error that needs correction. Are you a complete and whole, as it was before the relationship when they (and before you were born) and will be for all eternity.
Be careful on his thoughts-ego mind thrive in the belief that you are separate and without love. It will be lecturing the craziest things in my head. It may say things like, "I can't go, I'm afraid to be alone, I failed, I can't live without it, no one will ever love me", and so on. These ideas were cut off from the reality of peace and joy, you are looking for. Be wary and identify. Accept only ideas that spread the love.
Take care of yourself-get a good dinner. Touch the old friends. Do what you always wanted to do. My life again, as you want. It's a new chapter, how you read it? It won't be long before you look back at this moment as a key period of growth and appreciation for what you've learned.
Peace and joy are your own transport, suffering is optional. Discover the peace and joy, it's yours. If you are inspired by the spiritual growth and development to visit me at http://www.craigvillarrubia.com/. On the Web you can find free articles, video, and podcasts, which serves as a means of spiritual enlightenment. You can also be with me on Facebook daily rates and updates on http://www.facebook.com/craigvillarrubia.

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Recover From an Affair and Save Your Marriage

Some married people discover evidence of infidelity when they look in their partner's Internet browser history. Other cheating spouses are more cunning, and they delete their Internet history to get rid of the evidence. Through the World Wide Web and mobile phones, a cheating partner can secretly keep in touch with his or her illicit lover.Suspicious details in your spouse's Internet history or cell phone are among the common signs that an affair may be going on. You need not lose heart immediately once you find signs like these. You and your spouse may still be able to recover from an affair and save your marriage.
People tend to seek advice on their marriage only after they find out that their partner has cheated on them. In such a situation, problems in the marriage have probably been going on for a while already. Affairs have destroyed countless marriages, but an affair does not have to destroy yours.
Certain situations are more favorable when you want your marriage to recover from an affair. For instance, you may be lucky if your spouse confessed the affair to you on his or her own. When the spouse who had an affair shows willingness to talk soberly about it with the one who was cheated on, it is also a good sign that their marriage is not without hope.
If the offending spouse feels remorse about cheating on you, he or she would be more likely to want your marriage to be saved. Cheaters who acknowledge their mistake may be more likely to agree to marriage counseling. A cheater who is truly sorry should be willing to end all contact with his or her lover if the marriage is to recover from an affair that he or she committed.
The spouse who was cheated on, for his or her part, needs to be able to let go of resentment over the betrayal. If you are the victim of an infidelity, you also need willingness to look inside yourself for possible reasons why your partner pursued that improper relationship outside your marriage. Were your partner's needs fulfilled by the other person in ways that you could not? In contrast, if your spouse accuses you of causing him or her to have an affair, you will have quite a challenge to overcome.
When cheating has driven a wedge in between a married couple, both of them need to be willing to make changes that will put their marriage back on track. You can recover from an affair and save your marriage by having the will to do so.
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Things You Should Know for Obtaining Divorce Records

Nowadays, every person has the right to enter and view the divorce records which are authorized by the Freedom of Information Act. There are two kinds of these records and documents, one is licensed and the other is unlicensed. People can also choose to go to the related government administrations or departments in order to obtain these licensed duplicates. As an example, a person have to get in touch with the California Department of Public Health in the event that you need some records of a divorce case which was decreed in California, then you can in the hope of getting the desired records.When it comes to the related government departments, individuals will normally turn to the Office of Vital Records for some public records such as divorce information. In addition, people will also find a lot of other county agencies which manage these vital public information, such as birth and death information as well as marriage and divorce information. It seems to be a necessity that you have to be aware of the details of the divorce information's filing. Above all, you have to know the exact place where the divorce case was initially dealt with. It is due to the fact that only the Supreme Court or the recorder's office within the county where the divorce happened has the right to provide men and women with licensed duplicates of divorce information. In most situations, such duplicates would involve a lot of relevant decrees or certificates.
What's more, it will be also able to obtain the licensed duplicates of the divorce information from the information providers who will search your desired information for you on the web. The on-line information providers, as an instance, possess huge databases which are linked to enormous resource networks. Thus, you can obtain the records you want from a huge information repository more easily. Generally, there are two diverse choices available for people to gain divorce records on the Internet. One is to employ a commercial information provider which would ask for a fee. The other is to make use of one from those promotional public record sites which would offer you some information with totally no cost. Though both the two kinds of information providers can be found easily on the web and both can provide you with some outcomes, the one with no cost might not completely meet people's needs in some instances. However, the outcomes achieved from the free provider on the Internet will be remarkably useful and informative in case that the records database is maintained by a government administration. Despite the fact that in America no state or county has its own on-line database for maintaining divorce records, most of them previously owned one and you can make use of it. And what one needs to do is only input some basic pieces of information like name, age and living place of the individual who you are checking records on.
As well, you may take the employment of commercial records providers on the web into consideration in case the county you live in does not own any on-line retrieval service for people who desire to obtain some kinds of public records. But as for obtaining licensed duplicates of separation information from your county agencies or departments, you need always to wait patiently due to the fact that it may take quite a long time to deal with your demand for divorce records.
If you want to learn more about divorce records, please visit the divorce records website for you.

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Infidelity Does Not Have to Mean the End of Your Marriage

If your spouse spends too much of his or her leisure time with people who are not you, the stage may be set for infidelity. Maybe your husband likes to go without you to pubs or bars. Maybe your wife is devoted to a hobby that you do not like to participate in.Married people should give each other the time and space to do what each of them personally enjoys. However, this leeway should be only up to a point. At least half of their leisure time (preferably more, though) should be in the company of their spouse. When unfaithfulness does become an issue in a marriage, a couple should not immediately assume that their marriage is history and just throw in the towel.
Society makes more allowances for unfaithful spouses than it used to in the past. This is almost certainly one factor that has influenced the rising numbers of married people who cheat. Certainly this greater social acceptance does not mean that you in particular can somehow just brush off your spouse's affair. It means the two of you need to seriously talk about why the infidelity took place. Whether one's spouse just started seeing someone else, has been having an affair for while, or already stopped the affair is nowhere near as important as how the couple concerned will cope with the fact.
An affair has the potential to destroy marriages, but it does not have to do that to yours. Under some circumstances, a married couple can rebuild after an infidelity comes between them. Such circumstances include that of cheating spouses who freely confessed about the affair to their respective spouses or at least feel guilt or remorse over what they did.
When a husband or wife does not want to talk about the affair they had or, worse, refuses to cut ties with the illicit lover, his or her spouse is surely in for an uphill battle, if the wronged spouse still wants to keep the marriage intact. In spite of such odds, you have to at least try to do something, since you might be the one who wants to fight for the survival of your marriage.
Of course, you need not wait until one of you cheats before you do something to make your marriage more secure. Take advantage of the resources at your disposal to find out what you and your marriage would need. Being proactive is often a good idea to ensure wedded bliss and a happily ever after.
Learn more about the signs of having a cheating spouse at How to Prevent Divorce today.

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Serious Relationship Mistakes to Avoid

Sadly, celebrity divorces make all the headlines for all the wrong reasons. They showcase the most unconscious behavior, especially when it comes to relationships.Too often the rich and famous spend more time working out their wedding details than on determining whether this was a good match from the start. Unfortunately, celebrities are not alone in making this common mistake. Too many couples think no further than the honeymoon plans when contemplating marriage. They have no idea about the complexity behind real relationship issues and the maturity it takes to create a successful long-term outcome.
Divorced couples find this out the hard way. They learn through hindsight about the challenges two people face when living together week after week, month after month in today's stress-filled world. It takes awareness, flexibility, great communication skills and the ability to understand your partner's perspective to make a relationship work - and that's just for routine life experiences. Throw in accidents, sickness, job loss and other major stressors, not to mention the complexities that come with having children, and it's easy to understand why so many marriages fail and too often end in divorce.
If you're divorced and looking to find a healthier, happier relationship ahead, or marrying for the first time and want to avoid relationship disasters, here are some tips that are worth serious consideration:
· Know your partner well -- during the good times and the bad. It's after you face disagreements, nursing your partner through an illness and other life challenges that you find out who you are really contemplating spending the rest of your life with. If what you discover makes you uncomfortable, have some serious conversations - or move on before making any further commitments.
· Don't expect to be "completed," "saved," or "fixed." No one can fill the void in your inner self. You're setting your partner up for failure if you expect them to fix your problems and love you through your unresolved issues. Do the inner work on yourself first, perhaps with the support of a therapist. Heal your wounds and neediness. Then seek out another soul who has done the same to partner with you.
· Be hooked on more than just romance. Happily married couples will tell you that you have to be more than great bed-mates to make a real relationship work. Look for common values, goals, beliefs and interests. Opposites may attract in the short-term, but you want a marriage based on respect and sharing a future together. If your core values and interests are not in alignment, you're facing a tougher road ahead.
· Be your authentic self - and don't change for a partner's approval. You can't fake your way through a marriage. If you hate sports, the internet or pets, state it up front and find a mate who loves you knowing this reality. It's unfair to hide your true self from your partner and it's a disservice to yourself pretending to be who you are not. Honor who you are and look for a partner with high self-esteem who loves themselves as they are. That's a formula for lasting relationship success!
As so many celebrities discover, money won't buy you a happy marriage. You can't use sensuality as a substitute for good sense. Relationships don't have storybook endings. They require constant attention, the ability to sacrifice and compromise at times, and a heavy dose of respect for the person you brought into your life.
Before setting out in the relationship world, work on your inner demons, let go of the baggage from previous relationships, and take your time in getting to know the special partner you are choosing. There's no magic wand that will make your relationship succeed, but these guidelines will set you on a course that will circumvent a lot of pot holes along the road to happily ever after.
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a divorce and relationship coach. She is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents and author of the internationally acclaimed ebook: How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! She is also co-author of the new book: 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! Her free divorce and parenting tip sheet and coaching programs are available at http://www.childcentereddivorce.com/. Rosalind's free dating tip sheet and relationships courses can be found at http://www.womendatingafter40.com/.

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Will You Be Lonely This Christmas?

This may be your first Christmas after your divorce or separation, no doubt you are already worrying about how it will go.My best advice to you is, stop worrying and get organising.
It's not fair or reasonable to expect other people to organise things for you - they might and that will be a bonus.
If you have children try to keep your adult issues out of the picture, focus on making it a great day for the kids. Many divorced couples manage to get together as a family for birthdays and Christmas, it will mean a lot to your children if you can do that. If not, either split the day fairly or agree to have the children on Christmas day alternate years. Most of all don't make them or the rest of your families suffer, your divorce is yours to deal with.
If you don't have children try something a bit innovative. Ask around to find out if there are any elderly people living alone in your area, many families are scattered around the globe these days, this means that elderly relatives often have to spend Christmas alone. You could invite some of your neighbours or members of your church to your home, give them a day to remember.
You might prefer to help feed the homeless this year, the Salvation Army and other charities are always glad of helping hands to serve cook and serve Christmas dinner for poor or homeless people.
You could dedicate Christmas Day to yourself, plan to have all your favourite treats, get your favourite films to watch, get up late and plan to catch up with people on Boxing Day.
Christmas Day, like every other day, will be exactly what you make it. You can have a great day if you decide to create a great day or you can have a dull and lonely day if that's what you decide to have - all you will have to do to achieve this is - nothing!
That's right, sit back, relax and do nothing. You might get lucky, family or friends might invite you to join them, but don't expect them to.
Expectations can ruin relationships and Christmases!
This year, put other people first - especially your children if you have any.
Look out for people less fortunate than yourself, you'll find them all around when you start looking.
This year, plan to make Christmas as special as you can, for as many people as you can - and make one of these people yourself. Just don't expect someone else to do it for you.
Hello, I'm Mary Moir, most of my career has been about people just like you. Wives, husbands, families.
What I've learned is that you need to feel good about yourself to have a good relationship and be a successful parent. At http://www.yemanyacoaching.com/ you'll find all you need to get your life and your relationship back on track. Or, how to recover after a divorce.
http://www.yemanyacoaching.com/
Put the life back in your living!

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What Parents Need to Know Now Before It's Too Late

What do we mean by, "Before it's too late"? Well, you would be amazed how many people get into trouble for physically striking a child in public because, "It was the way I was raised". Today are different times. Having said that, there are some great reasons why you should learn parenting skills before it's too late.Child Misdirection
This may appear like something that sounds like a trick, then you'd be right, but wrong as well. What we mean by child misdirection are the influences he'll eventually run into during middle school and high school. By learning parenting skills now, you can effectively communicate to your child what the different influences will probably be and how to avoid the wrong ones.
Your child could be misdirected from friends, strangers they met on the walk home, or even from trusted sources like teachers or babysitters. By admitting these dangers and facing them head on with training, you give your child the best chance he or she has of a successful future.
Criminal Behavior
Youth criminal behavior is something that can be common in houses that haven't had proper parenting training. Shockingly, the most crime occurs by those under 18 in Camden, NJ. By getting the parenting skills you need, you may be able to put a "road block" up on that path leading your child to a life of criminal behavior.
Because criminal behavior can be displayed at early ages, it can be very important to get your parenting classes done as soon as you can. If criminal behavior isn't caught early and stopped, it could spread like cancer across the body. Criminal behavior prevention and intervention early on is really the only hope a parent can have to be sure they've done all they can.
Unknown Abuse
As I mentioned, punishing your child with even a spank on the bottom can cause some people to fly into a ruckus. That attention could possibly end with the cops being called and then city social workers.
Once a complaint has been made the city has to take action, that's the policy of every social worker professional in the country. Depending what the workers are told, you may not get a chance; they may just take your child outright.
By getting parenting classes today, you will get informed of all the state and local laws regarding physical punishment on a child. Once that is known, you can know the boundaries and be informed. If you're informed and get into a problem in public, you can know the difference between punishment and abuse. That knowledge is the power to fight for your rights and even fight off an unlawful complaint.
These are the top 3 reasons that you need to learn parenting skills before it's too late. When informed and knowledgeable you can teach your child about what they can do to help be a better son or daughter. Then you've fought the battle on two fronts, which means you're doing everything you can to be the best parent possible.
Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management and Parenting provider. Click here for more information on Parenting Classes Online
Dr. Ari Novick also provides world class online anger management classes

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When to Divorce - Find Out If Your Marriage Is Still Worth Keeping

When you marry your partner, it goes without saying that you truly love and trust that person so much. But what happens if the trust you have for him/her got broken? Would you resort to ending the relationship and file for a divorce right on? Read on to find out when to divorce your partner.If You Found Out Your Partner Is Cheating On You
Nobody said that cheating within a marriage is good - it is obviously not a good thing. But remember that there are reasons why your partner cheats on you, so it is best that you both talk about it in order to address whatever shortcomings that you may have. In situations such as these, do not rush into filing for a divorce right away, because it might be better if you just forgive each other and mend things out... although in the end, the decision will still be yours.
You Lose Physical Attraction to Your Spouse
So when to divorce your partner? Is it when you feel like you are no longer attracted to him/her that your sex drive is already affected? Well, absolutely not - these things can still be fixed, and the best way is to go on counseling or see a doctor. It's really sad to know that some people would decide to end their relationship just because they no longer find their partner attractive at all, that they even forego making love to them because they no longer have the drive to do so. Talk to your partner and decide what your best options are.
When You Are In an Abusive Relationship
If you are in a relationship where your spouse abuses you physically and emotionally, then that is a good indication that it is time to end the marriage and file for a divorce. Remember this - if you feel you are being abused by your spouse physically or even verbally, you have to quit the marriage right away no matter how painful the decision is. No one deserves an abusive partner, and you could be wrong to think that he will change his attitude - leave now, before it gets even worse.
Remember that there are no relationship issues that cannot be addressed with, and divorce is not always the best solution when your marriage is in trouble. At first, you might break down and decide to quit right then and there, but remember that once you are already divorced, there is no turning back anymore, and it is no longer that easy to fix a divorced marriage. When you are faced with problems in your marriage and you ask when to divorce your partner, it is best that you first give yourself a break - go on a vacation in order to give yourself ample time to think on whether it is best to end your marriage or not... and again, in the end, it is only you who can decide.
Are you still can't decide what to do? Read when to divorce for 5 simple questions you should ask yourself to asses your situation. These will help you greatly in making the best decision. Need professional help? I would suggest you visit Save My Marriage Today review for the best help you can get.

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Mending Your Marriage: Tips That Work

When you swapped vows in front of the altar, likely the last thing you thought you'd be doing at this point in your marriage is trying to find ways for making up in a marriage, yet that is exactly where you are at. You may find some comfort in knowing that almost every marriage has its struggles, and while some ultimately do fall apart, many couples do find a way to reconnect once again.Serious Issues
Many couples do have some fairly serious issues that they will need to work out. Whether you are trying to find ways for making up in a marriage where infidelity came into play, get past the stresses that come with financial woes, or even just find ways for getting your ex back altogether, you may find that therapy can help. If your spouse or ex will not join you, you can absolutely talk to a specialist on your own. Your specialist can help you cope with your own feelings, and he or she can help you to work on strategies for communicating with your spouse or ex, too.
Minor Gripes
Minor gripes and complaints can really add up over time. Things like your spouse leaving dirty clothes on the floor or constantly needing to control the remote can really weigh on your nerves over time. Chances are that however many gripes and minor complaints you have, your spouse likely has a similar number of complaints about you. It does take a lot of give and take to live with someone, and whether you've been married for six months or sixty years, the gripes and complaints will go on. If you don't want to find ways for making up in a marriage, you will want to talk to your spouse about these little gripes that seem to be mounting before you two reach a tipping point. Sometimes, voicing your concerns and listening to the issues your spouse has about you can help you both either understand what's going on or make adjustments.
Give Space
The fact is that you both entered into the marriage with the intent to stay together forever, and while that unfortunately doesn't always happen, you should know that your spouse likely wants to get things back on track as much as you do. Sometimes, however, making up in a marriage does indeed involve creating some space between the two of you so that you can calm down and have time to think away from the emotions of your fighting. If you do want to mend your marriage and don't want to be getting your ex back in a few weeks, you do want to give your partner space even if you really want to hash things out right now.
Shake Things Up
If your marriage is having issues not because of serious issues like financial woes, infidelity, or other such things and you also are not being burdened by constant bickering, it may indeed be having issues because of a lack of intimacy. In this case,making up in a marriage involves shaking things up a bit. You will want to make an effort to plan a few fun or romantic outings with your spouse so the two of you can reconnect, and be sure that your reconnection carries over into the bedroom, too. Getting your ex back is no fun, and the fact is that by taking some simple measures to keep your relationship fun, active, and intimate are great ways to prevent a breakup from happening in the first place.
The Right Approach
Every marriage will be at a different stage and will have different issues with it. Making up in a marriage for some may mean therapy while for others it may simply mean a romantic night on the town is in order. Once you make the right decision and have a good approach for mending your marriage, you will find that you no longer have to worry about getting your ex back in the future because your marriage will once again be on solid ground.
Do you know how to attract your perfect mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Ken Beaven can provide you additional information leading to your success and advise you with skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit http://www.passiontips.com/.

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What to Do After Your Husband Leaves - Steps to Moving On

Are you feeling lost and confused after your husband left? Do you believe that there is no way you can go on? How do you get your life back after your husband leaves?If your husband has left, you might feel as though your entire world has fallen apart, but with some hard work, you can certainly put it back together. When your husband leaves, take time to grieve and get angry, but then spend more time getting back to living and enjoying life. Here are some tips for getting your life back on track after your husband leaves.
Set New Goals
If your husband leaves, you will need to set some new goals in your life that don't revolve around him. Be sure to spend all of your time looking ahead and don't concentrate on what has happened in the past. Concentrate on the fact that you now have plenty of free time to pursue hobbies and interests you may have ignored in the past. For example, join a gym. Not only will you look great for the next guy, but you will also feel much better. In addition, take up a new hobby where you will meet other people such as scuba diving or take an art class.
Change Your Home
You may need to purge a lot of memories after your husband leaves. Take old pictures and throw them out along with any items he may have left behind. Take the time to redecorate and make the house exactly as you have wanted it. Paint room, buy new furniture or put in new carpet in order to make your home totally yours after your husband leaves. This fresh start will help you feel much better and you won't see him in your mind's eye as much.
Get Out of the House
After you have redone the house, it is important to get out of it. One idea is to take some classes at a local community college or get involved in a new hobby you have always wanted to try. This is also a great time to reconnect with old friends that you may have lost touch with over the years. You can also spend more time with your family as they will be more than willing to help you when your husband leaves. Another idea is to volunteer at a shelter or nursing home or get involved in local fundraising for a charity.
Get Some Help
If you need some help moving past you ex, the best idea is to go to a support group for divorcees. Many times, these classes will meet on the weekends or after work hours and can be very helpful in teaching you self esteem and optimism. They can help you feel better about yourself and help you realize that there is more than one fish in the sea and there will be someone else for you to meet. In order to find a support group in your area check online, the yellow pages or ask a friend whom you trust for some recommendations.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.
Janice Evans is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

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Transformations to the Family Law Act Introduced the Concept of Family Dispute Resolution

The Family Law Act provides a road for the resolution of controversies about the time children will spend with parents and other important people in their lives.Transformations to the Family Law Act in July 2006 introduced the concept of family dispute resolution. Parties are generally required to attend mediation with a registered family dispute resolution practitioner prior to filing an application in Court, except in certain scenarios.
Following the family dispute resolution process, this specialist will issue what is known a Section 60I Certificate. If you haven't been able to reach agreement with the other parties, you are able to use that Certificate as a "permit" to commence proceedings.
If you wish to go to Court, you'll want to prepare court documents. An "Initiating Application" is a document when you tell the Court what Orders you would want to ask them to make. An "affidavit" is a document when you tell the Court your story and the reason why you would like them to make the Orders you seek. You may need to file affidavits from other witnesses.
Within the court process, you need to attend Court. You might also need to attend meetings with a Family Consultant (previously known as Family Court Counsellor) or other Expert. That Family Consultant or Expert will prepare a Report for the Court to assist the Court in deciding what to do in your matter.
FAMILY LAW ACT 1975 - SECT 11E
Courts to consider seeking advice from family consultants
(1) If, under this Act, a court has the power to:
(a) order a person to attend family counselling or family dispute resolution; or
(b) order a person to participate in a course, program or other service (other than arbitration); or
(c) order a person to attend appointments with a family consultant; or
(d) advise or inform a person about family counselling, family dispute resolution or other courses, programs or services;
the court:
(e) may, before exercising the power, seek the advice of:
(i) if the court is the Family Court or the Federal Magistrates Court--a family consultant nominated by the Chief Executive Officer of that court; or
(ii) if the court is the Family Court of a State--a family consultant of that court; or
(iii) if the court is not mentioned in subparagraph (i) or (ii)--an appropriately qualified person (whether or not an officer of the court);
as to the services appropriate to the needs of the person and the most appropriate provider of those services; and
(f) must, before exercising the power, consider seeking that advice.
(2) If the court seeks advice under subsection (1), the court must inform the person in relation to whom the advice is sought:
(a) whom the court is seeking advice from; and
(b) the nature of the advice the court is seeking.
If needed, your matter may go on to a Final Hearing. In cases like this, you and any other witnesses you have may be asked to attend Court to answer questions about their evidence.
If you have any questions about the process or if you would like any further information contact a family lawyer
We have, Family lawyers Melbourne, Family lawyers Sydney that are always ready to help you instantly.

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The main reasons for divorce-why most of the pairs ends with their marriage

What are the main reasons for divorce? There is a common thread running through the grounds for divorce? There is something, what can be done in order to avoid the main grounds for divorce?
Is your marriage on the rocks and you're scared that maybe you're going to divorce? While many couples of this decision every year, there are some of the main reasons for divorce. Read on for the most common reasons why to choose the pairs to the end of their marriage, and see if any one of them corresponds to what you and your husband now faces.
Infidelity
The number one reason for the divorce is one partner out of the marriage. This can lead To very real breakdown of trust and communication in the framework of marriage. In fact, infidelity is given as a reason for the Department in more than one third of the distribution in the United States. It really doesn't matter, if the partner has cheated once, twice or repeated touch. There are also several reasons for the affair, including resentment or sexual boredom.
Communication Breakdown
If it is able to clearly communicate the steam, it will eventually lead to the collapse of the marriage, which could result in divorce. This can occur when the pair to avoid the Exchange or can't talk to each other without conflict. Communication is the cornerstone of every marriage and there must be for the relationship for survival.
Abuse
This abuse can come in many forms, including sexual, emotional, physical or psychological. Whenever one wife is offensive to the other or to the children, then the other of the spouses shall immediately file for divorce. Physical abuse may include a fight and beats. Emotional abuse may include such things as verbal insults, leading to humiliation and intimidation.
Financial questions
The other main cause of divorce is money. When financial stress enters into marriage, may cause a total breakdown. Almost every couple will have to deal with the financial stress on one place or another, but it is this stress or not wedding comes. So much tension over finances is aggravated because the partners have a different way of handling stress due to the different nature and priorities. Couples may even have problems, when no debt. It happens when couples agree on the allocation of financial resources and can bring about the end of the relationship.
Boring
These distributions are usually the least bitter of all, because they involve money or other persons. These divorces occur as partners has grown to several years simply by itself. May be disinterested and distant and less common as it once was. In fact, most couples start a seven-year itch and some relationships last much longer, even if it is not always the case. One way to boredom that comes to the marriage is to make sure that you are a very good match and do things together, and try new things with each other.
If you want to find out more about how to obtain the male attention, click to understand men. You will learn all the secrets to Fall in Love with you.
Janice Evans is a Dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love life. Visit for more information.


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Technology Advancements Force Lawyers and Pro Se Individuals to Look for Hidden Surveillance Tools

Being a good lawyer when handling a divorce matter isn't about knowing the basics anymore. It's not just about knowing the correct forms, knowing the court's rules, and keeping client confidences.Being a good lawyer is about being conscious of the extent of tremendous advancement of global technology. It's about remaining aware of the effect this technological advancement has on all legal cases and especially on divorce cases.
Today, this technological growth has spawned the creation and use of covert surveillance devices and software that in turn create issues both for the lawyer and for the client.
If you are considering representing yourself in the family court system in any jurisdiction you need to know about this technology if there is even the slightest distrust between the parties in a divorce or family court matter.
Today's technology brings with it many conveniences. At the same time it also brings with it just as many dangers to your privacy.
Imagine that you are a lawyer representing a client or even a spouse who wants to represent himself or herself in a divorce case. Now let's add one small factor. Let's assume there is a small level of distrust between the husband and wife in the divorce case. That's it.
Here is one question. Do you know about Patrolman GPS, FamilyMap, or MobiStealth?
If you don't then you may want to learn about them and the hundreds of other devices and software programs that exist by virtue of the advancement of technology.
If you are a lawyer representing a divorce client and the opposing party seems to be one step ahead of you every time, or if you represent yourself and the same thing is happening then you need to at least jump onto the internet and find out about these and many other devices and services rather quickly!
Let me introduce you quickly to just this small sample just in case you don't know about them.
PATROLMAN GPS
Patrolman GPS is a small black device which does not look fancy and is easy to overlook. This GPS (Global Positioning System) tracking device can be put in your pocket, on your car, in your briefcase, in your glove compartment, purse, bowling ball bag, or even placed in a magnetic case and hidden somewhere on your vehicle where it goes unnoticed. This device takes seconds to hide or attach to the chosen location. It can track your every physical movement by a transmitter that provides satellite information on your location to the subscriber of the devices' satellite tracking service.
FAMILYMAP
FamilyMap is an add-on to your AT&T Cell phone service. Unless you know what this service is, what it does, AND you also take care of paying the cel phone bill then you wouldn't even know that you are being tracked by GPS built into your cel phone. If you take your cellular phone with you everywhere and have the AT&T service then your spouse could add the service, pay the bill and you'd never know you are being tracked with that information recorded 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
MOBISTEALTH
Now lawyers who represent divorce clients this is one that should make you sit up and have your eyes bugging out of your socks.
MobiStealth is a tracking program that can be installed and remain completely hidden on many cellular phones and is linked both to the phone itself and a GPS Satellite tracking system. It is reputed that this hidden cellular phone program can be installed in a minute or two. Here are the things it has been said it can do.
1. Store copies of emails, call logs and SMS that were sent and received from your phone.
2. Automatically retrieve the GPS coordinates of places that you recently visited and even provide real-time GPS tracking of your location at any given minute.
3. Secretly record your phone calls. Or be programmed to record only the calls for specific numbers and even perform reverse phone number look-ups to see who the call are made to or received from.
4. Retrieve your pictures and videos.
5. Record of the phone's surroundings. It can literally turn on the phone's microphone in order to secretly record conversations that are within or just outside of earshot.
6. Keep a detailed record of bookmarks, chat sessions and calendar events and even be informed of new contacts that were added to the contacts or address book.
7. This program can supposedly also get you the internet browsing history of the person using the cellular phone that it is installed on.
These technology and surveillance devices and software should be considered for many factors. If you value your privacy then you may have a problem. If you use your phone to communicate with your attorney then you should be concerned about the breach of the attorney/client privilege.
To obtain adequate legal protections, you and/or your lawyer may need to file motions to prevent further invasion and/or validate the criminal nature of the surveillance depending upon the jurisdiction you live in and the holdings of that jurisdiction.
Technology concerns in all cases are no longer optional for lawyers, especially those who practice divorce law because those cases are more likely to give cause for their use. Divorce is a whole new ball game folks. Knowledge of technology is no longer optional for lawyers or your average citizen.
FREE detailed information for You from the RI Divorce Attorney. I don't want you to become a victim.
Contact Attorney Christopher Pearsall at (401) 632-6976 NOW. Your low-cost coaching and legal advice session from Rhode Island's Most Affordable Divorce Lawyer and Full-Time Family Law Coach is just a phone call away.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. You should not take legal action without legal advice from a licensed practitioner who has been fully informed about your specific circumstances.The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.

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The Court Is Not Required to Consider Fault Or Marital Conduct As Relevant

In determining the distribution of marital assets in a property settlement and /or the granting of spousal maintenance the court is not required to consider 'fault' or 'marital conduct' as relevant factors. However, the court is required to consider any fact or circumstance which, in the opinion of the court, the justice of the case requires that it take into account as long as it is of a broadly financial nature.Generally, financial losses which have been incurred by the parties or either of them in the course of the marriage will be shared by them (although not necessarily equally). There are two exceptions to this general principle. Firstly, where one party has embarked on a course of conduct designed to reduce or minimise the effective value or worth of the matrimonial assets (including such conduct as deliberately destroying a valuable asset, the wasteful dissipation of assets by a party, or even deliberately or recklessly scaring away investors in the family business thus reducing the effective value of its worth). Secondly, where one party has acted recklessly, negligently or wantonly with matrimonial assets, the overall effect of which has reduced or minimised their value, for example, excessive gambling, spending excessive sums on drugs, alcohol or the downloading of internet pornography.
There is an increasing awareness of domestic violence as an issue in society and with this societal awareness has come recognition by the court. If, for example, a wife has been subjected to constant physical and emotional abuse by the husband to the extent that she is unable to fulfil her employment or has to change careers from a highly paid position (modelling) to a lower paid one (cleaning) as a direct result of the husband's abuse, the conduct can be taken into account by the court as having direct financial consequences. Such a set of circumstances takes into account the financial losses caused during the marriage by the conduct of the husband on the wife as well as possibly creating a higher future needs consideration, particularly as it affects future earning capacity. But the effects of violence are generally more subtle and it may not be that there is an obvious change from modelling to cleaning.
The court will consider the wife's potential to contribute had she not been the subject of abuse. Another example may be where one party's considered contribution as homemaker and parent may be increased where that party has endured domestic violence at the instigation of the other party. The court is required to assess the contribution that each spouse has made to the property over the period of the marriage. A course of violent conduct by one party towards another which makes the other party's contribution more arduous is a fact a trial judge is entitled to take into account. The application of that principle is not limited to domestic violence but can extend to other forms of conduct such as bad business deals, gambling and wasteful destruction of assets. Certain conduct may even be classified as resulting in a negative financial contributions.
Violence in the home is, of itself, an indication of a negative contribution to the welfare of the family and is therefore relevant in the determination of how to adjust property interests following the breakdown of a marriage. The effect of marital conduct in property settlement proceedings can get extremely technical.
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How to Deal With the Pain of a Divorce

Even the most amicable of divorces are painful. The sense of loss, hurt, failure can be hard to come to terms with. And with an acrimonious divorce, whilst there may be feelings of relief that the difficulties of the relationship are finally coming to an end there is still often a sense of regret and disappointment. After all, there was at one time love and a commitment that the relationship that was meant to last a lifetime.Let's look at several ways to deal with the pain of divorce.
- Counselling and hypnotherapy are an important way to reconcile to the ending of a relationship. It is a valuable exercise to address what went wrong and why, to look at your own role in the breakdown of the marriage. Even your being compliant and accommodating may need to be reviewed because that behaviour gave your ex partner tacit permission to behave the way they did. Other people may come to realise that they have negative expectations of their life; they repeat patterns of behaviour that are destructive or they are apprehensive about saying how they feel for fear of the outcome. These behaviour patterns will improve with the use of counselling and hypnotherapy.
- Take time for yourself. Recovery can be supported by having counselling but time is also important. Taking time to discover who you are, what you want, how you feel, especially after the breakup of a long marriage is important. Grieve for what has happened and be kind to yourself. Explore your own taste in different areas; colours, interests, dress sense, music. When you've been part of an established marriage it can be all too easy to abdicate your individuality for the greater good. Finding what really suits and appeals to you is part of the next stage of recovery.
- Having a break from intimate relationships can be an especially good decision. They are not called rebound relationships for nothing! It can be seductive to look for love and want to become part of another couple very quickly. But finding a new home for all the love and closeness you're used to sharing is not the best way forward. Take time to heal, settle down and enjoy being independent for a while.
- Use the divorce as a catalyst for positive change. Exploring your own thoughts, ideas and potential for the future can be a revelation. A new beginning can include options to travel, a change of career, decisions on where to live. Being part of a couple usually requires compromise. Becoming single again after a long relationship can be both scary and exciting, often at the same time. Enjoy the opportunity to experiment, make mistakes and possibly start something new and different.
- Accept invitations to do things that you may not have considered before. If there is a spare ticket avail yourself of the opportunity to go, if colleagues are going for a meal or a drink after work take the time to get to know them better. Sometimes these events will be good, others not so good. Give yourself credit for having a go and joining in.
Most people agree that the end of a marriage is a sad and painful situation. Being gentle with yourself and accepting that some days are good, some not so good, can support you through the healing process. Taking simple steps, at your own pace can help you to reconcile and recover, having taken positive steps to learn from the experience.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
Further help, advice and articles on this and other associated subjects are available.
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

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