High conflict personalities-the driving force behind the divorce disputes

Do you know someone who usually blames others and deny personal responsibility for their problems? Do you know someone who is relentless in his day in court and refused to entertain any suggestions to negotiate or mediate a dispute?
Most of us know at least one person like this. It might have been a client, friend, previous employer, family, or former spouse. There are numerous examples showing that personality, not legal questions, often bring conflict. Now consider the two families, just time.
The story of the two Divorcing families:
Family # 1:
Mr. Apple is considering divorce and invites the Council to a lawyer. Mr. Apple shares with his lawyer, who would like to resolve the dispute to the Court to reduce costs and maintain a healthy relationship with his ex-wife and soon to the children. Mr. Apple Representative recommends that the cooperation of the divorce process assistance mental health professional and financial professional.
Is a family house, two small children and retirement accounts. Mr. Apple's relatively successful, and has an annual salary of $ 150, 000.00. Through a process of cooperation the divorce a couple agrees that Mr. Apple provide Mrs Apple some nutritious because it has a demonstrated need for financial aid, and Mr. Apple provides two small children with alimony. In addition, Mrs. Apple remains in family houses, while Mr. Apple rents the apartment. After five or six working meetings Apple reach agreement and obtain a divorce for a total of $ 10,000.00.
Family # 2:
Mrs. Orange's furious that her husband and she wants him to pay for all the evils that she suffered during her life. She is looking for a lawyer with the initiation of the process of divorce. The Orange family also has a family home, two small children and retirement accounts.
After three years of disputes, more temporary hearing regarding a wide range of issues such as the restrictive orders, parenting plan, and alimony, Mrs. Orange finally gets the day of the Court with its second representative. Yes, its second representative! Shot first, because it was not aggressive enough. Court orders Mr. Orange pay Plains and the child support order and the family house for sale. Legal fees for Mr. and Mrs. Orange Total $ 100, 000.00.
So what can we learn?
Both families have had similar problems and concerns. Both families are lawyers. Both distributions are likely to be emotional, stressful experiences. But one family spent one tenth of what the other families spent a divorce. Why? Mrs. Orange has decided on a highly hostile approach to divorce. Its high conflict personalities will conflict. Her emotions are exaggerated, and her behavior was often inappropriate. Minor problems were portrayed as major conflicts, and continued in issues with great drama, long after Mr. Orange to let you go. Throughout the process, she's always somebody else to blame for her problems.
High conflict personalities (HCPs) are driving a large part of the dispute, and all would we be able to better identify and manage these personality types with a deeper understanding of HCPs. simply be aware that you could deal with someone who is a type of personalities of high conflict, and you may need some special skills and procedures to protect yourself, HCP, and others.
Arthur j. Grossman's lawyer Orlando Orlando, Florida law firm divorce with Grossman: Grossman p.a. located in winter garden. He has the title of master of laws from the dispute resolution program in the # 1 ranked in the United States, Straus Institute at Pepperdine University School of law. If you need to Orlando divorce lawyer, who will work with you to resolve your case effectively and respectfully, please call (407) 573 2301 or visit the Web pages of Grossman's Bench Grossman in a year. http://www.thegrossmanlawoffice.com/

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Find Court Accepted Online Parenting Classes

Finding court accepted parenting classes is not a thing of the future. The classes are held online today and are readily available. There are many reasons for looking for one of these classes, and in most cases, divorce is a major cause. In many states it is a requirement to take some kind of parenting class during a divorce before it can be made final. If you find yourself in need of a parenting class that is accepted by the courts, but you want something a little closer to home, then online classes will probably be great for you. Here are a few methods to find credible online classes that are accepted by a court near you:
1. Ask Around. There has been an explosion of divorce proceedings in the last 20 years. This fact alone can make finding a reliable friend to recommend a good online class very easy. Word of mouth is one of the best ways to get this information. Don't be afraid to ask, nearly everyone with a child and an ex-spouse has been through a parenting class, so speak up and you just might find a great class really quickly.
2. Online Reviews. When in doubt... look it up. One of the best ways to find a reliable and worthwhile online class is by looking up "parenting class reviews" online. When you get hit by a plethora of choices, don't panic! Just start looking through a few of them. You will be able to tell right away if you like what you are reading or not. When choosing any class, especially one about parenting, you want to make the right decision. The idea with this is to take your time and look at the reviews.
3. Direct to the Site. If, for some reason, you don't want to reflect on the unsolicited reviews of past customers, you can simply search the internet for "online parenting classes." That will also give you page after page of choices in classes; many very colorful, and which are meant to get your attention. Do you best to be unbiased and look at them, taking note of the top three you want to go back and look at again or perhaps request further information.
4. Make Some Calls. Make some calls to the courthouse of the city that you live in, or even City Hall. They will usually have a list of accepted classes, including a few online sites, which they can give you. The courtrooms can seem a little formal, I know, but don't let a little formality keep you from getting the information you want. The City Hall or Courthouse personnel will be happy to help you.
These are the top 4 ways to be able to find court approved online parenting classes. The longer you delay in getting enrolled, the closer you may be to contempt of court and failing to obey the court order... that would be bad. Get a move on and get your classes started today.
Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management and Parenting provider. Click here for more information on Parenting Classes Online
Dr. Ari Novick also provides world class online anger management classes
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Get Back With The Male I Divorced

I really want to get back with my ex-husband. This is likely to be a term that is being spoken by many ladies all over the world on a daily basis. Splits between couples are a frequent situation, and, sometimes one person is much more hurt by one than the other. If you've recently suffered from a split with your ex-partner then there could be things that you can do in order to get your ex back.
First of all you have to know exactly why he left you in the first place. A lot of reasons can be there for this. Perhaps he found a new mistress. It's possible it was because of the way you were acting or something you did. He could have lost his love for you.
You can find lots of various reasons why any relationship might begin to breakdown and there is completely nothing that you can do in order to get things back on track unless you know what the exact reasons were for the breakup in the first place.
You'll be able to find solutions to the problems after you have determined what the causes can be. It could just be that you need to make a change in the way you're behaving or maybe in the way that you have been treating him. Whatever the situation, you need to understand the difficulties and solutions, not only for your current partnership, but also for any future partnerships that you get yourself into.
After you have thought all of this through you then need to get in touch. Conversation is the only way of addressing the trouble and it is absolutely a better idea to call him up, rather than simply turning up at his door. When you do phone him and see him sure that you don't simply start arguing. This can be the worst way to handle the situation. Instead, tell him that you just wish to talk and that you should meet up, perhaps over meal, in order to discuss things properly.
When you see him ensure that you are looking your best. Don't automatically think sleaze, just something that attracts his eyes. Maybe an outfit that you wore for a romantic meeting once or anything else you know he enjoyed. It's astonishing how much help this is.
When you see your ex-girlfriend, it's better to not bring up your breakup. Just getting into this process is likely to bring up some unhappy emotions. Try to get to know the circumstance and take an active interest, instead. By doing this you are making the possibility for one more meeting.
If you do continue to meet up attempt to make things more special on each situation. I have been missing him so much lately, and I believe that he has been missing me. After some time, it'll recover.

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Heading Off The Nasty Divorce

Heading toward a nasty divorce? How could two people who were madly in-love end up resenting and in some cases hating each other? I wish I had the answer to that question because my desire is to see couples work through their differences and make the best out of sometimes difficult relationship issues.
Many spouses end up hurting each other before it's all over and in the midst of their fighting to get the best of each other, much pain is endured by many. Unfortunately, children, in-laws, friends and neighbors also suffer because of the marital discourse.
I'm sure that you have mixed emotions about staying together or ending your marriage. It is not an easy decision and one that you shouldn't take lightly. Your future and your legacy for your kids, if you have any, are riding on what you and your spouse decide to do. There are two questions I think you need to answer.
1. Is there any way to save my marriage?
2. If we can't save our marriage, can we have a respectful and decent parting of the ways?
Like I said before, divorce is not something that should be decided on a whim. I'm sure that you have been trying to find a way to fix your marriage problems and I commend you for doing so. Regardless of mistakes that have been made, if there is a possibility of forgiving each other and moving forward, your marriage can be saved.
So, why are so many marriages ending in divorce? My experience leads me to conclude that in most cases there is one of both spouses who have the disease of "I". Do you or your spouse have any symptoms of the "I" disease? Here are some of the symptoms;
• The need to have it your way all the time.
• An unwillingness to ever say that you were wrong or that you are sorry.
• The inability to see anyone else's pain, because if it's not about you, it's not important.
• The desire for your happiness to be obtained even if your spouse is unhappy.
• The unfortunate habit of allowing pride and ego get in the way of relationship.
You see many marriages are backwards and end up heading down the wrong path not too long after the honeymoon is over. Instead of learning how to sacrifice one's need for the sake of matrimonial bliss, individuals realize that marriage requires giving up some of the things they treasure. Over a period of years there is some resentment built up and before you know it, unhappiness settles in and the road to divorce court is embarked on.
Do I believe that you can save your marriage? Yes I do and I hope you do as well. I have faith that with some sacrificing and letting down of guards and positions, reconciliation and restoration can and will occur.
It is quite easy to get your marriage turned around, especially if that is what both partners want. The alternative is not pretty.
May I share with you what happened in my parent's marriage? I'll give you the short version;
My parents struggled greatly when I was around 5 years old and they fought often. My mom was pregnant and she found out that my dad was unfaithful. He physically abused her and she ended up shooting him a couple of times. He lived but needless to say they had a nasty divorce.
Now, I'm in no way implying that your marriage will end like my parents did. However, you really have no idea how nasty breaking up can become.
I hope and pray that you will do all that you can to try to save your marriage. You owe it to your spouse and yourself.
There are many marriage resources that you can utilize to give you some help in saving your marriage. At the very least, make sure that you have exhausted all options.
Finally, if you get to the point of going through with the divorce, please don't let the process change you and your spouse to the point where your joy is obtained by inflicting pain on each other. It's not worth it and in the end will lead to you feeling guilty and regretful.
The best way to head off the nasty divorce is to restore and rebuild your marriage. If you want more ideas on saving your marriage, please read more here; Help In Marriage
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Get Help To Save Your Marriage

Are you exhausted from trying to save your marriage? You feel like you've tried everything you can think of but are just plain tired of trying and ready to give up. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. In fact, you should be proud of yourself for admitting that sometimes you just don't have all the answers. A fresh perspective and some new ways of looking at your relationship just may be what you need to save your marriage.
Online forums is a great place to find information on marriage problems and just about everything else, for that matter. Remember while using an online forum, that everybody's relationship circumstances are different. This will get you a variety of responses and can help you to think about things in a new way.
A professional marriage counselor could be a good choice to try to save your marriage. Choose one that has had many years of experience working with different types of couples and problems. Find out their success rate and look into their background.
Being comfortable with the counselor and being able to open up and share your feelings is essential. If your partner is uneasy with the counselor you've chosen, then ask them to help you look for one that you are both comfortable with.
Elderly or older couples who have been married a long time can be a great source of information and have certainly seen their fair share of marriage troubles. Marriage is always work, no two people will get along with each other one hundred percent of the time and talking to someone who has longevity in their marriage can be eye opening.
Talking with friends is a great way to relieve some stress and it's always nice to have someone who is on your side. Choose a friend who knows both of you and is fair minded. Someone who is looking from the outside may be able to see things you have overlooked. Ask them to tell you what they see and reassure them you will not be upset with them if they tell you something unbecoming of you or your partner.
There are all types of different resources on the Internet for help to save your marriage. There are some good e-books and full blown relationship courses with MP4 downloads, PDF files for easy reading and videos. Most of these programs offer help with dealing with the stress and depression that you go through when having relationship problems. Programs offering help in that way are some of the higher quality courses and should be something offered in any good e-book or course.
When problems aren't dealt with properly they become harder to solve. When words hurt they leave a wound that can fester into an infection that could destroy your relationship. Get some some help to start healing those old wounds and save your marriage.
Good Luck,
Rhonda
Rhonda McNish invites you to visit her web site all about relationships at http://www.solvelovetroubles.com/ You'll find articles about love, dating, marriage counseling and getting your Ex back. Solve your relationship troubles at http://www.solvelovetroubles.com/
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Enough Excuses Already

Why are people getting divorced? And why is it happening more often in today's day and age? In some states, it is extremely easy to get a divorce. In others, they require you to wait a certain amount of time living separate before making a permanent decision. Personally, I wish every state made you wait as well as require you to get counseling. I truly believe that living separately for a period of time would save many marriages. Since there is no waiting period is most states, and the states accept any reason for divorcing, it has become the norm to walk away from your spouse.After researching divorce for the past year, I have found some interesting facts about why people divorce and how the reasons differ in young marriages and long-term marriages. In general, the most common reasons for divorce, in no particular order, are poor communication, financial problems, lack of commitment, household duties and obligations, infidelity, time spent together, and lack of intimacy. It is fairly easy to decipher which reasons tend to affect the younger marriages. Nowadays, young couples work ridiculously long hours, which makes time together scarce. Financial problems also play a big role in divorce in younger couples due to the fact that they are just starting out with buying a new home, furnishing the home, and starting a family. Poor communication is a factor as well since a couple has not matured together and are still adjusting to living with another person. They tend to make decisions without consulting their partner which can cause very big problems as well.
I've found that in long-term marriages, the number one reason for fighting is due to a lack of communication. This lack of communication, in turn, leads to infidelity, alienation and lack of intimacy. It's clear to see that the lack of communication is the root of all evil, whether it is a young or long-term marriage.
I would like to stay on the topic of communication and what a huge role it plays in a relationship. It is amazing how many marriages could be saved if couples would just LISTEN to each other. Some couples claim to be listening, but what I have witnessed during my sessions with them is that they are not listening at all but waiting to talk. If you are waiting to talk, then it is impossible to absorb what your partner is saying. There is no listening involved. Sadly, I find that both partners are doing the same thing. This is where I stop the conversation and try my 8 Step Program, which seems to be very effective in resolving disputes. But it is not easy. It takes a lot of time and effort to get to a point where you can openly listen to your partner and understand what it is they are trying to express.
I can't emphasize enough how important communication is between partners. All problems stem from lack of communication. Infidelity doesn't just happen. There are reasons why people stray. Being ignored by your spouse and avoiding intimacy may just drive them into the arms of another person. A lack of respect is a very big blow to a man's ego; therefore, they try to find it through someone else. A woman needs to feel loved, but if her husband doesn't tell her that he loves her or doesn't show affection, she may find it with another man. In order to avoid those situations, you need to talk and express your feelings. The fear of doing that for both partners is rejection or criticism. In the past you've tried to express how you feel, but you were put down or ignored, so you found that it was much easier to just keep your thoughts and feelings and anger to yourself. This anger and hurt grows and grows until you stop communicating altogether. And that's when infidelity happens.
We must remember that we are supposed to be able to tell our partners anything. We are to trust and love each other enough to tell them when something is bothering us, and we must do it before it festers and becomes impossible to communicate what we are feeling. There has to be a time where you need to roleplay. It is the only way you can even come close to imagining what your partner is feeling and thinking. And it also gives you a chance to understand where they are coming from. Our egos are so big during a fight that neither partner wants to give in. No one is right or wrong when it comes to feelings. So there's no contest to win. Feelings are valid in both partners and they should be appreciated by both. No one is perfect. Your partner might have faults or habits or tics that you just cannot stand. But do you really think they are doing it on purpose? Your partner may be saying the same thing about you. You might have bad habits, faults or tics that annoy them. Wouldn't you want them to understand that you are not doing things on purpose to make them mad? You both should be accepting each other for who you are. Why would you want a spouse who is exactly like you? You will never find a perfect match. You were attracted to your spouse for who they are, not because you thought they were exactly like you. Change is very hard. We are who we are. If you are with someone thinking you will change them, or you go into a marriage thinking you will change them once you get married, you are in for a big surprise. It won't happen. So either accept them for face value, or find a way to get help for yourself because your ego has gone into overdrive.
My suggestion is to stop making excuses. Any problem can be solved with communication and compromise. Take my advice, which comes from first hand experience, if you are contemplating a divorce, take time to think about it. Separate for a short time if you need and seek guidance. Counseling is not for the weak. It is for the smart and strong and dedicated. It is not a weakness to ask for help. It is noble. If you absolutely cannot work out your problems, then seek the options I've written about in this article. Try counseling, positive guidance coaching, or separation before making that FINAL decision of divorce. Don't do something you will regret. Regret is not fun to live with.
I am always available for guidance and help in your marriage or partnership. Please don't hesitate to call and work on the problem immediately before it gets too far out of control and you make a decision you will regret. My goal is to stop divorce one session at a time. A happy and blessed marriage to all of you. Keep fighting. It's worth it!
Blessings, Coach Lisa, CTACC
http://www.lifecoachlisa.com
440-856-3670
Blessings, Coach Lisa
LifeCoachLisa
http://www.lifecoachlisa.com/
440-856-3670

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Fear - It Grips More Than The Relationship

I was ashamed of myself. I should have known better. Why did I allow this to happen? Why did I let this go so far? What the hell was I thinking? Men as well as women can be on the wrong side of an abusive relationship. I know, I was there, and these are just some of the thoughts that came to mind when I looked back and began to write my book about the experience. Although you see many stories and hear about women who are abused in some way, physically, mentally or emotionally, there are many men who find themselves on the receiving end.
The conclusions that I came to might surprise you, might even shock you, but the main conclusion I came to was this. Almost everything I did, was done out of fear. Fear of what might happen, fear of what could happen, fear of what people thought, fear of what people would say and ultimately, fear of the unknown. Maybe there are fewer stories about men in abusive relationships because of fear. They probably feel that as a man they might be viewed or ridiculed as being weak or pathetic, unable to stand up to a woman and take charge of the situation.
Personally and speaking from hard earned experience, I got myself into the relationship from hell. I often asked myself how I could have been so stupid to carry on with a relationship which was clearly never going to last. I got engaged; I got married and endured a honeymoon nightmare after a wedding day disaster that most people couldn't even imagine.
I believe that many people are in relationships, men and women that they just shouldn't be in. Like me they are or were in the relationship for the wrong reasons, one of the main reasons being fear. It's only when we step out of the fear factor and allow ourselves to be free, that we feel alive again.
Experience is a great teacher and in any lifetime we all have lessons to learn. I was lucky. My inner voices, or as I prefer to call them, my spirit guides, were on hand to steer me through the troubled times and get me to the other side. Here we have another major issue. Most often we are led by our brain and logic rather than being led by our hearts. We may often feel that our heart is talking but more often than not it's logic mixed with fear. It's only when we get quiet, we have time to reflect and truly follow the heart's desire. I know of no one who ever had the heart's desire to live in an abusive relationship, so the question is: Why do so many people find themselves there?
There is nothing wrong with admitting mistakes and leaving a relationship that isn't working. The trick is to leave the relationship and stay away. Going back on the promise of changes being made rarely, if ever work, especially if there has been a troubled and turbulent history. At best the changes will last a few days, a few weeks, or if you are really lucky, a few months. It's never too long before the old habits start repeating and you're back at square one. How long do you go on? How much do you take? How far do you let things slide, before you see sense and leave for good? All good questions and if you are in the wrong relationship, then I hope you answer them quicker than I did.
Like most everyone else I have lived my life in a predominantly linear manner. I mean I have always tried to figure everything out with brain power, willpower or mind power. The truth is that there is no real power in any of these. Sure we can logically reason and make decisions based on the information we receive through our brain or mind. The trouble with that is the information is filtered and based on beliefs or what we already know. Sometimes these filters are defective or fear based and the information we get can be faulty or incomplete.
Since writing "Orion & The Wildcat" I have found that my perspectives have changed or are beginning to change. I now believe that we should not be thinking with our minds but following our hearts instead.
Here is why:
In the book you'll discover the consequences I faced as I allowed my EGO and fears to be the basis for almost all the decisions I made. See for yourself the timeless wisdom that was being presented to me that was largely ignored. I also reveal the disastrous situations I found myself in due to the blind faith I had in logic and reason.
http://orionandthewildcat.com/
http://natureowisdom.com/

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